Month end closing is a bitch, but you know who isn't? Me for finishing yet another blog post. It's Day 5 leggo.
We began the day bright and early with 太阳公公 barely out. Our stay at Naco Aparthotel Zermatt was fantastic, not just because of the convenient location or spacious rooms.
But also due to the extensive breakfast buffet spread that excited my morning wood.
Hams, breads, cheeses, cereals. They have everything except for a plate of nasi lemak which i desperately craved for.
It may look like a lot for breakfast but guess who just saved 30 euros on lunch?
Just look at our excited faces raring to go at 7.30am in the morning.
We took Europe's highest open-air train to Rotenboden as the Matterhorn basked in the morning sunlight.
At our first stop, we got to hip xiong with the Toblerone sign which can now be removed since they are no longer allowed to use the mountain on their packaging after moving production to Slovakia.
With the guidance of professional influencer Ivy, we managed to take amazing photos with the Matterhorn.
Jl looked like she was taking a pregnancy announcement photo so i almost ran in and punched her womb.
2 assholes making fun of Linda and her sengeh neck.
Reagan looking out for any white knights following his wife.
Jh training for Physical 100 season 3. Maybe now feels lighter cause Th no more appendix.
Singapore got 梁导, Switzerland got Ivy导. Performing the choreography was no easy feat as any slightly strenuous activity at almost 3,000m above sea level will make most people breathless and lightheaded.
But look at us out here, living our best life, with the best view of the Matterhorn and no other folks in sight.
Being the only tourists meant that we could get away with stupid and humiliating poses.
Like Reagan getting analed by the iconic mountain.
And whatever this is supposed to be. Great job ruining the view guys.
That is the worst heart shape in the history of mankind. Truly disgraceful.
And finally we tried to be Gen Zs by doing a tiktok dance that Uncle Raymond would be proud of.
We continued on to the Gornergrat, a rocky ridge where it is possible to view the Matterhorn and the surrounding glaciers.
It’s also home to 2 astronomical observatories that you can use to upskirt Guan Yin Ma in the heavens above.
The view here wasn't as good as Rotenboden's, but still chio.
Unfortunately i don't get the beauty of glaciers. It's just... more snow?
After taking enough photos to fill a porn magazine, it was time for a lunch break. We settled for the cafeteria in Gornergrat with an Ikea-ish set up.
Thanks to a heavy breakfast, all i got was an apple strudel solely for the purpose of showing others that i'm not a poor cunt who can't afford to eat.
We then returned outside for more photo taking as if we didn't have enough display pictures already.
Ha ha let’s all laugh at the single dog sitting by himself.
But with the power of MS Paint, i was no longer alone on the mountains.
We then took one last phenomenal photo with the Matterhorn before returning to Zermatt.
Back in town, we were checking out the 小吃s on offer when we happened by an ang moh who shat in his pants.
Reagan trying some scalding hot mulled wine that hopefully won’t make him shit in his pants.
One of the few food recommendations we found in Zermatt was this little soup shop which is only open during winter.
We had the potato leek soup, tomato soup and <insert forgotten soup>. These were so comforting on a cold winter’s day, and each also came with a slice of sourdough bread to dunk in the liquid goodness.
A furry feline pissed at us for not sharing our soups with it.
We also came across this crepe shop with a long queue and hopped in like the true blue Singaporeans we are.
They mainly specialise in savoury crepes which tasted <insert forgotten taste>.
Not sure why Th diao-ed me as if i stayed over at her house and slept on her bed.
We borrowed a closed bar’s window sill as our dining table and unintentionally turned it into a 神台.
So we thanked the god of sledding for still being alive and finished our snacks gratefully.
In the evening, we were supposed to go ice skating but the rink was closed for some event. Jl and Th opted for a swim at the hotel instead but the latter ended up not going since she did not want to get her swimsuit wet... Then 你带来做么??
With nothing else to do in this little town, we headed into the most exciting place we could find. Would have been slightly awkward if they changed the M to N.
Was almost duped into buying these gyozas until i saw the vegan logo. 4 Swiss Francs for meatless dumplings ? I would have been so mad.
We returned to the hotel and i filmed a room tour while waiting for my guests to arrive. Such a great place to stay, especially *spoiler alert* compared to our next accommodation.
Being a good host, i prepared some additional ingredients for our supper that night.
Nothing like a cup noodle party to complete our last night in Zermatt. There wasn't any oil so the pan-fried nuggets were as dry as eating sand.
Jh demonstrating why he needed an extra year in secondary 3.
We ended the night with these fuckers making themselves comfortable on MY bed feat. Reagan's flesh wound from sledding. Truth be told, i'm fine with it since we are akin to family at this point and i just pleasured myself on that bed half an hour ago and cleaned up with the blanket they are using. Love you silly little gooses ♡
- End of Day 5 -
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