Japan Trip 2015 - Day 10: Kuromon Market, Osaka Aquarium and Shinsekai

Hope you have some snacks in your hands or you've had your meal ahead of this post. We are going to bring you on one hell of a food excursion. 

Ready to move out after Kl finishes blow drying his pubic hair. Yc showing off his ticket to a complimentary cup of coffee from our hotel because he chio. 

Is it Xu Tai Yu from 我的少女时代? Kl turning on the charms for all 3 of my female readers

For comparison

Visited Kuromon market for breakfast hoping for a better food experience than Kyoto's Nishiki market. Little did we realise the experience of a lifetime was waiting for us in this unassuming alley.

 The market is so fking hygienic. Not wet, no raw stuff smell, it just feels like some shopping center.

A vibrant and lively place, locals haggling over prices and high quality food on display.

Fruits that sell at 5x the price in our supermarkets here

Fish eye balls as big as my balls

A sexy tuna fish being carved in front of our eyes.

Pink strawberries because red ones are so mainstream

First stop, some sushi to whet our appetites

Fugu aka pufferfish which can be lethal when eaten if not prepared correctly

Contemplating what to order as the items are quite pricey and we didn't want to overspend at this place to try other street foods.  

Sneaky gang sign from out of nowhere

See la Kl kickstart poh gang sign all must do also

Please no more signs i'm tired of using MS Paint

Ck's face changed when he found Phyllis stead with Yong Liang 8 years ago on that day... 

And he has been emo ever since.. This is the only logical explanation.

Food's here! Starting off with melt in your mouth unagi (smoked eel without bones), salmon and her baby eggs, and assortments of tuna.

2nd plate of goodies. Generous slices of fish with small amounts of sushi rice because you're there to sample the meat. That sea urchin is so good, i wish foreskin cheese tasted like that so i could harvest and eat it everyday.

This is what we came and paid the big bucks for. The pinnacle of raw fish. The best of the best. Otoro aka fatty tuna belly. You just have to press it between your tongue and the roof of your mouth and it literally melts. When it went into my mouth i remembered the first time i drank milk from my mother's breast. The liquid heartwarming, the soft nipple reassuring. I cried. Thank you mom. The aburi flame torched version was an insult to this gorgeous piece of meat. It didn't need much help, just some soy sauce.

Look at the fat marbling like it's some high grade wagyu beef *squeals*. No kidding this was one of the best things i've eaten in my life. A piece of otoro sushi here cost us $10, but there are other places selling slightly lower quality at cheaper prices.

Towards the end of our meal there was a big group of obasans and 1 uncle (厉害哦) who sat beside us. When we were leaving they chatted us up on how we find Osaka, how's the food, basically trying to get into our young pants. Being the 师奶杀手 we are, striked up a nice conversation with the elders despite the language barrier. They were really kind and friendly, very different from most of the locals who keep to themselves and it really made our day. Took a group photo to remember the ladies that we met 30 years too late. From chao ma to jeans selling lady in Taipei to Joan in Taichung, the streak of meeting friendly but undesirable women overseas continues.

After the sushi session we decided on some 自由时间 to roam and eat whatever you wanted. A cute mei mei selling pancakes but it's not time for desserts yet sweetie.

A big fish decor just in case you can't tell it's a market

Yc and me wanted to try some authentic cold soba while in Japan, and we didn't get to try it earlier thanks to some people sneaking off and eating by themselves while we were shopping. Rea and Ck never eat still buay paiseh take photo. Gave this little shop a try even though abit 不起眼.

Sat at the counter watching the shop owner quietly preparing the soba with skill and expertise. Feels like our personal chef since the 2 of us were the only customers at the time.

He cracked a raw quail egg into the sauce and it made a world of difference. The handmade noodles were springy and al dente, and the sauce was smooth and sweet from the egg. Certified 好大便. And the uncle looks satisfied at 2 young boys joyfully slurping down his noodles with delight.

As it approached lunchtime more people started pouring into the market

Kl went for takoyaki which couldn't go wrong, right?

But he got a takoyaki taco, which seems really wrong but i'm not sure if this tasted good.

Ck's freshly grilled scallops. Looks yum

We were spoilt for choice at the selection of seafood. Yiwei would be disgusted

Spotted this little side shop selling quality sushi at cheaper prices and couldn't resist ordering somemore otoro. 

Just choose your sushi sets, pull up a seat and nomz

Salmon roe, giant scallops, sea urchin that looks like gao kueh and fatty tuna. All for around 20 bucks. Wooooooorth

Look at the sexy fatty oils on my fingers. Melt in your mouth goodness. Sadly this would be my last piece of otoro until the next Japan trip.

More pufferfish being sold. The english signs persuading us to buy doesn't sound too convincing...

Shop specialising in freshly shucked oysters and sea urchin.The biggest one costs 10 SGD and should take 2-3 mouths to finish. Of course we weren't that manly and went for the medium sized ones but it was already pretty overwhelming.

Handsome kor kor shucking our oysters but he can shuck me anytime ;)

Please be careful and don't hurt yourself i will heart pain ok? xoxo

Gam pua dua liapz. The first time i'm not using those words to describe boobs or balls.

Eat liao testicles will heavy heavy juice will thick thick. 

Tonight shoot die your own hand ;;

Also couldn't resist getting some sea urchin straight from the shell. The salty, sweet and fresh flavour was nice but it's quite an acquired taste. 

Kawaii little fish soy sauce

And Ck couldn't resist another skewer of grilled scallop

Look at those shiny medallions of scallops... as shiny as my 2nd brother's bald head

Stumbled upon this gem of a place serving up grilled seafood of your choice.

Choose the shellfish or crustaceans you wish to devour, watch the chef grill it skillfully in front of you and then pick a seat and attack it. They also keep restocking seafood so it may pay to be patient if what you want to order is not on display.

Big ass prawns that we faggoted out of. The aroma was awesome and i definitely regretted not ordering one or fifty.

We practically sweeped their remaining display of scallops. Look at them bubbling away on the charcoal grill.. Almost as sexy as SNIS-731 Serious Juice Lazy Hot Air Steamy Burning Intercourse of Sex Juice performed by Shion Utsunomiya.

Reagan ordered his last tray of otoro and we watched him orgasm with envy. Not gonna lie we were very tempted to steal a few bites.

Never eat the big prawns so eat some sweet shrimps. Very sweet and fresh, also much cheaper than those found in Singapore.

Our fat and juicy scallops slightly marinated with soy sauce. So good man...

Ck with his 30th scallop of the day. "taste just like kailin cb. not fishy at all. sweet taste with a creamy texture. smooth like yc skin." i quote as zhup was dripping out from the styrofoam plate and his pants. 

After all that food, time for desserts. And yes there's always room for desserts

Red bean mochi with a whole strawberry stuffed inside. Didn't try it but it looks good.

Beautiful strawberries.. So red... So expensive..

Around $70 SGD for this box of strawberries. Eat already will shit out gold anot? 

Sampled some Fuji apples, with the trademark honey sweetness that you can see in the core. Almost as sweet as me.

Jh bought this honeydew but it wasn't the godlike version he had in Hokkaido. But with determination comes success, and he continued looking for more melons. If only he had the same passion for women..

This one cannot la more expensive than kobe beef. Must be use chio bu virgin's urine to water the plant one

Wonder why they cost so different when they all look the same from the outside?

Because on the inside it looks like a frozen wedge of honeydew iceberg. Totally different from that yellow scrub we had earlier.

And oh my god is it juicy. Like licking a vagina that keeps getting wetter and wetter. It feels like eating ice cream rather than a fruit. 11/10 best fruit i have ever had in my life.

Our orgasms were so loud that we actually got interviewed by a TV crew. No joke, out there somewhere in the japanese channels there's a feature on us eating fruits.

Interviewer spoke to us in mandarin and asked us about the fruits and the market. Pretty cool. Hopefully they don't label us as tourists from mainland china. I spent over a hundred dollars on breakfast here lul BUT I WOULD DO IT AGAIN GOD DAMN IT. Was an awesome experience trying anything you wanted without holding back, and we got the taste the best sashimi, best scallops, best soba, biggest oysters and best fruit of our lives. If you are ever in Osaka, go give Kuromon market a visit. In my opinion it's a better experience than Tsukiji which is filled with tourists, and you even get to be on TV.

After putting seafood in our tummy, we went to see how their families are living without them at Osaka Aquarium. 

The winds near the harbour were even stronger and colder. Vending machines with hot drinks coming to our rescue again.

Suddenly at SG flyer

Sibei big but there wasn't alot of people there that day. Ferris wheel was mostly empty.

"Sho excited to see fish swim" said no one ever. 

Jin hipz and bling should have bought this for xiao lian

Considering the lack of people there this is considered a pretty good snipe

A little shopping center with an old school arcade and almost nobody in it, like some zombie apocalypse happened or something. 

Purchasing the tickets amidst the strong breeze

Entrance tickets cost us around $25 per pax. The whale shark, their star attraction is printed on the ticket.

The aquarium is located in a uniquely shaped building with pixelated murals. 

Pedofish sucks off 2 young boys

Bo gong jiao wei it's directly beside the harbour of Osaka Bay which funnels out into the north pacific ocean.

Timeout to 打扮 cause the wind blow till hair messy messy

Abit 小 excited because the last time i went to underwater world was during primary 1.

Ok officially fully excited now to explore her cave i mean the aquarium

If i were a fish i would swim down close and low so girls will squat down and take a better look and then i can upskirt die them

Spotted this amazing creature at the first enclosure

The way it acted cute and played for us to see was sooooo lovable!

And the legs were so white... so long.. so delicious..

Oh yea and there were also these 2 furry things molesting each other but that's not important.

Please note that these videos taken in the aquarium are a complete waste of your time and data. Don't load them if you're outdoors.

Salamander looking like some final boss from a game

Alien looking, but fascinating creature

Cute little red crabs that look like those deep fried as snacks by the Thais

Even sea lions got girlfriend to cuddle with...

???  这是什么棒?

是我的肉棒

No idea what's this doing in an aquarium but ok

Look at how fucking happy this fish looks. Like the black black uncle after successfully asking for cigarettes.

Rich people fish. Chio intricate patterns on their heads.

First time seeing a capybara. Also bought a stuffed toy version home for someone..

Hi there birds who can't fly

The michael scofield penguin attempting prison break

Real life kabuto is bigger than expected

More fish tanks

Dolphins!

Mmm can't wait to turn you into takoyaki

They have mola mola, also known as sunfish which i would never have known about if not for a lame ass mobile game Kl and Yc played where you control a mola mola and eat jellyfish to grow bigger.

The face is so derpy and it has a perma blowjob face. Interesting creature

Paid $25 to see you drift around...

Silhouette of an even more fascinating creature twisting at the camera

Kawaii sight of a young boy waving at fishes

Never ending walkways spiraling down the main aquarium. There were 3 levels to see the same tank so it got boring pretty quickly.

Bored 怎么办? Poh gang sign lor..

The whale shark, which is not really a whale

Happy little stingray

Thumbs up, big fish!

Grouper fish 很配合 wefie with kai kai

This time you not blur blur but fish blur blur

Alaskan king crabs prancing around with each other

Frankly we had enough of this tank and couldn't wait to see something different. 3 floors of the same thing abit over.

Wouldn't mind sitting beside the two of you admiring the fishes a little more though ;)

Gaigai with you 2 also ke yi

Kl looking extremely exhilarated at the exhibits to come

Sj giving sad puppy eyes asking if we can come back again the next day. Oh you little boys so kiddy next trip bring you visit die all the aquariums ok?

The thickness of the glass that's protecting us from the sharks and stingrays

Thought we were done and can finally exit this place. 

But no, jellyfish area.

He's here, he's there, he's everywhere.. pointing gang signs

Jellyfish filmed by Ck and directed by Kl

Like cute little floating dickheads. But mine not so small lah hahahahahahaha...

有没有? 有比它大 right? Guys?

Bllop bloop bloop

Chio artistic shot using my scrub Samsung Note 2

What's better than 1 Yc? Infinite Ycs taking selfies

What's with the sudden sly grin?

Is it see korean chio bus must snipe?

Not snipe you la Jl go away

I am the angel in your darkest nightmares, busy taking picture of sea lions while ignoring you

Wefie with curious sea lions swimming around above our heads

Prawn and uni. Looks yumz

Angelfish. And yes Jl i know i'm cute 谢谢夸奖

2 cb zai nan fishes, 1 resting and 1 looking awkward in their natural habitat

Hen kai xin! Finally done with all the exhibits!

But wait, there's more! 我操！

Disturbing a very nua seal. Kua lj? 

More penguins, this time in closer proximity

Really lucky to see this live performance. I've always wanted to see fresh penguin shit dripping off rocks

Best part of the aquarium, the interaction area where you get to touch stingrays and some fishes.

Friendly, horny rays swimming up close to let you molest them

But still have to exercise some caution especially after what happened to crocodile hunter Steve Irwin

At least you are willing to let us touch..

Since you're in the interaction area means can touch you also?

Found nemo

Obligatory blowjob shot but 太短

Cute Jh posing with shark jaws

Kl posing with something scarier than sharks jaws

You can put your face on animated fishes to swim with the korean chio bu fish and that's the closest we will ever get #hardtruths

Exactly where you deserve to be, behind bars you monster

Accurate representation of Ck's life right now

No money to take photo so take photo of others taking photo for others

Having some fun at the souvenir area

The winds were even bigger in the evening. Ck and i had fun running against the wind to the jetty where you can sort of see Mount Rokko in Kobe, the place we would be visiting the next day.

Turns into a beautiful place at night

Osaka flyer looking good too

Looking for the giraffe's lego penis

One last look at the Osaka aquarium area. Not for a group of zai nans but would be nice to bring your other half here... if we ever have one..

Next stop, Shinsekai aka 新世界 aka new Sj

Alighted at Dobutsuenmae station which literally means "the front of the zoo" when translated, where there really is a mini zoo in the middle of the city

Passing by a huge building with lots of pachinko machines

Into a quiet alley which looks pretty shady. Had to double check the map to make sure we were at the right place.

Japanese version of chess

The only place where there were signs of life is this kushikatsu restaurant called Kushikatsu Yaekatsu

Kushikatsu is a famous Osaka cuisine of deep fried meat and vegetables which you get to dip once into a special sauce in front of you (and only once due to hygiene reasons as the sauce is shared by the previous diners before you)

Imagine a old chang kee bar, but better. Food was really good but then again it's hard to go wrong with deep fried goodies. Don't expect good service attitude from the chefs though. They are just there to put hot crispy skewers on your plate.

Checks itinerary description of Shinsekai: "Lots of food and shops, happening place at night"

... WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE? 

And the only shops that are open are restaurants wtf

Struggling to find things to entertain ourselves in this ghost town

So quiet you can hear Reagan's heart murmuring "o levels.."

What's in the distance? Do i see hope? Is it our salvation?

Yeeeeeessssssss gashapons!

More gudetama keychains for the colleagues

Kl checking out an interesting theater showing old movies and porn, much like the japan version of princess 

A random watch tower out of nowhere. Build for what also no tourists except us

Bored till go into arcade which is emptier than Timezone in Tampines mall 

Every kid's dream job to be an arcade cashier when they grow up. Sleep all day while playing all the video games you want.

Finally found the happening part of this area, around 50 years ago.

Had enough of this Shinsekai shit and decided to return to Umeda city area where there are more living things.

Why you have to be sexist? Gender equality please

Yc's 依依不舍 look at the thought of leaving this memorable area

Female commuters taking pictures of male anime butts 

When in Rome, do as the romans do

Woots people, noises, bright lights, we are back in civilization

This wasn't pre-planned so we just ended up following the crowd 

It was the right choice. We eventually reached a really happening shopping street.

Wa Jh got nippon mei mei beo you 1 year ago

While looking around for a proper dinner, we found a good place to waste our precious yen

Kiap kiap machines that cheat our feelings. Look so easy but the claw will somehow let you down

Jh spent around $20+ winning this little rilakuma. Also no gf to give to ;;

Random snipe of OL

This is actually a pretty fucking long street. At least we got to see some japanese christmas decors

OH MY GOD IS THAT ICHIRAN? And that is how our dinner was decided that day

Hello everybody Reagan Benjamin Wong Wei Long 550 pounds here teaching you how to order ramen in Japan

First you insert $$$ into the machine and choose your ramen like this heartbroken soul pictured above 

Then fill up the form of how thick and oily you want your soup to be and get rejected by Kat, and you're all set!

This time we all got to sit together. You can see Sj's fabulous yakuza hair in the foreground

Diy egg peeling time. 2 eggs because high cholesterol is underrated

So glad we had the opportunity to have Ichiran again. Once is just not enough

The broth is so flavorful and thick. Char siew and soft boiled egg on point too.

Feeling sad as we bid goodbye to this bowl of noodles. See you in 2018 );

If Ichiran ever opens a branch in Singapore, you know who to thank.

As soon as we exited the restaurant we were drowned by above average pussies. Suddenly alot chiobu waiting to eat ramen cause we trendsetter

Zeh zeh wait in line till sleepy can come back our hotel sleep

When in Japan, you will never regret having desserts

And this happens to be the best ice cream I've ever had in my life. It's called Cremia and we haven't been able to find anything that tastes like it in SG. Not even the soft serve in Meidiya. 

So milky and fragrant.. and the biscuit feels like you're eating 白色恋人. Well worth the $6. Try it if you have the chance, you won't regret it.

It was getting late so we decided to return to hotel ahead of a long day 11. God i miss that weather..

Blur blur photo to round off the post. Well at least we are on track to finish this Japan series within a year. I just have to do the last 2 posts within a month. Haha...ahaha..hahaha chio lan.

- End of Day 10 -