So you've returned to read more of my repulsive captions. How fan jian of you. Ok then, take off your clothes, lube yourself up, and prepare your anus. I'm going in.
The morning was uneventful as we disappointingly checked out of our hotel, having failed to bang any Taichung chicks. It was really unexpected to us, considering our hunky looks but we concluded that the girls here are too self conscious to be seen with us. Just kidding, it's because we are ugly, humji cb zai nans.
The high speed rail station was tranquil and empty, possibly because it was a Tuesday afternoon. The commuters were mostly businessmen, and the only tourist-looking fucks were us.
Purchased our one way ticket to Taipei for around SGD $30, and then off to scavenge some late breakfast.
Learning from 2 bad bullet train bento experiences, we opted for the safer options. Them 7-11 sandwiches are value for money and generous with their 料.
It wouldn't be Taiwan without variety. A sushi set from sushi express? Some handmade udon? Or if fast food is more of your thing, Mos burger and Mcdonald's got you covered. This would have been Ck's indecisive hell.
We didn't fare any better either. It was a good thing we gave ourselves a 45 mins leeway because we used almost all of it to decide on our meals. We were fortunate enough to be able to store our luggage in the designated spaces near our seats.
Nothing else to do except to indulge in our loots on the 1 hour journey. I know this seems overkill but if i never buy this salmon set for less than SGD $4 我对不起父母. Definitely more enjoyable than any bento, so much so that the old lady passenger beside me was disturbed by my satisfied moans.
^ The old lady passenger bothered by my moans. Thankfully i didn't hear theirs for the next 5 days sharing the same roof.
Hello Taipei, we are here to make your girls wet. Actually, we didn't have to because it rained every-fucking-day. The HSR links to their mrt (Taipei Main Station) and 2 quick stops later we met up with our fantastic airbnb hosts.
For those interested, this is our apartment that can fit up to 8 people, but more suitably for 6: https://www.airbnb.com.sg/rooms/9311543?eluid=0&euid=eedc5e21-1637-2f6c-4aa8-4c6edd08f58d
Although the price is steeper than others, it has a 5 star rating and looks fking lit. Spacious, slick and most importantly 2 toilets for us to shit till our hearts' content.
Intently listening to instructions on how to operate the house, like the advanced security lock they use which seems as if they are storing gold in here. But as with all accommodations, we were only really interested in one thing once they left the property in our hands...
THE MAGNIFICENT, SENSATIONAL, EXTRAORDINARY PORN CHANNEL!! The 彩虹頻道 was initially locked, but our expert hacker perverse Wong guessed 0000 and it actually fucking worked, to our raucous cheers. Here we are, Jl included, intrigued by the captivating storyline of "HORNY MILF GETS VIOLATED IN 3 DIFFERENT HOLES BY HUSBAND'S CO-WORKERS VOL.6".
Daily Kl shenanigans
The most intense game of rock paper scissors to determine who gets the best rooms. Lady luck was on me and Yc's side as we got to have our individual rooms to pcc in.
My awesome space which includes a big closet and a teddy bear in case i get scared of the big closet. What more can i ask for? A woman. A living one of course. I don't want to hear ghostly female cries at night... from the big closet.
Spotless, tidy and well furnished, it feels great to just nua on the sofa, snacking away while watching porn taiwanese variety shows.
Our meticulous hosts went the extra mile and provided us with a fully stocked fridge. Cut fruits, yogurt and plenty of water. Cb use such underhanded tactics no wonder everyone give you 5 stars.
So cosy that we didn't feel like leaving the house.. But our rumbling stomachs finally managed to convince our lazy asses to move out.
Self proclaimed artistic slanted shot by Kl. Headed to the foodie heaven of Yongkang street and had our afternoon tea at 高記 instead of the flagship Din Tai Fung, putting trust in the good reviews on tripadvisor.
Bored faces while waiting for food. The service here was lackluster, even when there weren't many customers during our visit.
Xiao long baos were inferior compared to DTF's. They were decent, but nothing special.
I liked their siew mai though. Sweet shrimp and tasty pork fillings.
The 水煎包's foreskin was way too thick and floury. We ended up digging the meat out to save on stomach space. So smart. The food and service here are a level below, so just head to DTF instead if you insist on having dumplings.
The increasingly heavy drizzle did not stop people from queuing for this famous spring onion pancake.
From our memory in 2014, the 葱抓饼 was pretty normal, and it still is. Not worth falling sick braving the rain for this.
Dessert time! The famous smoothie house that is popping up branches in SG. But here we are at the original in Yongkang Street.
Fresh mangoes, a bukkake of sweet cum on delicate shaved ice that flakes away in your mouth. Sweet tooth satisfied.
The rain in Taipei that would not stop. I like my girls wet but not like this... After shopping for some satki umbrellas and kawaii socks, we felt that it was light enough to continue walking to the nearby Shida Night Market.
And then it all went to hell. A fierce thunderstorm hit us out of nowhere. Picture water that is coming at us sideways, which makes our super satki sleek automatic umbrella practically useless. The only consolation was seeing university girls getting wet along with us. The downpour made it impossible to visit the night market, so we made a decision to seek refuge back at our residence instead.
Passed by a 包 shop with a queue and we jumped in line without hesitation.
Freshly steamed buns that were not only scrumptious, they also served as good heat packs for our freezing hands.
Showing off my newly purchased gudetama socks and hairy legs. Fking cute, just like me.
A little bit of chill time in front of the tv with a small box of lu rou fan while waiting for the rain to finally stop.
Our hosts also provided enlarged maps of the more prominent stations around the place, detailing the landmarks, emergency services and most importantly, supper spots. We conjured up our masterplan to get a massage before having a steamboat supper...
....But the masterplan almost got foiled by a very fascinating movie...
But before that, presenting our airbnb house tour with special guest appearance by SG's "song joong ki" (It's probably NSFW so don't watch this at work or in public)
Surprisingly, the area was littered with massage parlors and because it's Taiwan, we can be quite sure they weren't lupsup. As the price was identical to a massage in Singapore, Kl, Jl and i went around exploring instead.
Found a yoshinoya and couldn't resist giving it a try. Will it taste like Singapore's disgusting out-ration? Or will it resemble Japan's divine bowl of porky goodness?
Thankfully, it was the latter. I missed you so much baby.. still hope to see you in Japan next year!
Choo choo! The supper train doesn't stop here. After their massage ended, we waddled through 10 mins of cold winds and slippery floors to 这一鍋, a steamboat restaurant with rave reviews.
Sniping while waiting for our seats. On second thought.. Jl and her bucktooth more chio.
No steamboat is complete without condiments. Also, the free flow japanese pearl rice is ❤
The only person not engrossed in his phone. Tsk kids nowadays all caught up in their fancy technology and social media. Brb need to take this photo with my phone and upload to instastory.
Once food is on the table, we return to our social lives. Not many things better in life than having a bubbling hotpot in cold weather, with friends that don't use their phones when out together.
Free flow 鸭血 in mala soup base! The waitress kept adding more chunks as she refilled the soup. Holy shit i ate so much that i sexually identify as a duck now.
Their signature dish, paper thin slices of top grade pork.
Cooked shabu shabu style, it just melts away once the meat hits your tongue. Delish!
Complimentary mango smoothies in test tubes to cool down our tongues raped by the numbing peppercorns, very similar to 美人鍋's. For the quality here, the price is pretty reasonable considering all the freebies we got.
Got our change back in an envelope. Felt like drug dealers strutting out of the place, 很 cool.
Amazingly, there was still a provision shop open in the dead of night. Had fun shopping for cheap, miscellaneous items before strolling back with our stuffed tummies.
Streets were dead empty as expected at 1 am on a Tuesday night. 很想脱光光跑回家.
Ending off the night with a pudding requested by the no.1 bitch back home. Sweet ending to a damp day that ruined most of our plans. But rest assured, the next post will include more pictures to caption.... yay... (god help me).
- End of Day 4 -
1 comment:
KL is so humorous 牛逼
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