Continuing the trend of 1 post every week. So proud of myself i think i deserve a wank. Brb... Managed to survive until daybreak without anything coming out of the closet to murder me during my sleep.
好男人 Kl already up and sorting our laundry from the night before, or maybe he was just sniffing our underwear and socks.. We called Wanli paragliding to learn that they were not operational that day due to rain. Not too affected since we still had 2 more days to try. As the rest were still dead, i went down for my uncle morning stroll.
By stroll, i actually mean scavenging for food. And this little gem of a breakfast kiosk named after our secondary school chinese newsletter was just around the corner.
Struggling to make a choice from the extensive menu. But when in doubt, one combination can never go wrong.
Bacon, cheese and egg prata. 很 yummy. 很感动.
Once the pigs got ready to head out, we were off to something exciting that didn't the fall within halal boundaries.
The legendary Jin Feng lu rou fan, where swines die for a greater cause.
$2 for big bowl?! Sign me up for 50 bowls! Although the queue seemed pretty long, we got a table almost straightaway because of the efficient staff.
But it came at a cost. Had to sit separate tables from the couple where Reagan basked in attention from 3 expiring pussies.
The lonely single pcc club table. Let's grow old and have saggy balls together.
Onto the task at hand. What an alluring sight to behold..
The star of the show. Daily dose of braised pork rice and still no signs of getting sick of it. But little did i know i was about to experience the best version of this dish.
The lu rou fan is only overshadowed by it's twin sibling, 焢肉饭. So orgasmic to let the fall-apart-tender meat disintegrate just by pressing your tongue against the roof of your mouth.
Had the foresight to order an extra serving of braised pork belly, and also to wear tight underwear to conceal my erection. The meat may have been fall apart tender, but my manhood was rock hard throughout the meal.
肉羹汤 aka pieces of battered pork in thick soup, one of Taiwan's signature dishes that we finally got to sample. Nothing amazing but it brought a nice balance against the oily stuff.
Staggered out with our lips glistened with oil and bottoms soaked in bodily fluids. I will have to give this place 1 star because it's heaven disguised as a kopitiam. And that means, Jin Feng is.... food king good!!
Putting the "gang" in gangway, diao-ing anyone who dares to wander into our teh pua
Even though we've been here for what seems like a million times, a visit to ximending and its vibrant, youthful atmosphere never gets old.
Ok la, actually we just came to beo meimeis. Sadly, it starting drizzling again and many of them scared wet t-shirt never come out gaigai.
Surprised to see our first residence in Taipei still standing. I thought the lift without sensors would have killed someone by now.
Hipster drink alert!! Will return and give this a try when i'm ready to get diabetes.
Opted for the safer option in my matcha milk tea. Cheaper, tastier and i'll get to live a little bit longer.
Unusually, the boys had more to shop in xmd than Jl. Giggled to myself like a little boy at the thought of brushing a real nipple with this. 幼稚.
Snack time! Not even hungry but we couldn't pass on a piping hot bowl of ah zhong mee sua, especially in this chilly weather.
Not sure if it was off form or we were too satiated, but it didn't make me tremble in sexual pulsations like it did before. Overall, it's still a good bowl of rice vermicelli.
Happily slurping away our... wait a sec.. is that a malay lady in a tudong eating mee sua with pig intestines?? Makcik makan babi mee sua haram siol.
Time for some retail therapy at Xinyi shopping district, home to Taipei 101 and various other malls.
How to make money:
1) Package semen in container
2) Label as "sticky white cream" in pink words
3) ???
4) Profit
Being a boring person that has no interest in shopping, 我到外头去吹吹风, 去吹吹风.
Literally blow wind until a shopping center called Breeze. And a Fedex van appearing out of nowhere to remind me of what's waiting once this vacation is over.
Jh's favourite shop from Japan.
Sorry hor not sniping you don't need to catwalk out towards me. Prepped up with a toilet break and drinks in anticipation for our invigorating hike.
Weather was perfect, unlike SG, where i can sweat just by going downstairs to dabao wanton mee. Seriously smlj.
Prince of UBS representin'
Bank of China with a peculiar building design and a satki metal rhino guarding it.
The trademark giant dildo of Taipei towering over us.
Before we ascend elephant mountain, had to adhere to the training manuals and perform water parade and 5bx.
Due to the construction work being carried out, we had a difficult time finding the entrance to the hiking trail. Some uncle pointed us in the wrong direction, probably because he wanted to reach the summit faster than us. Childish fuck.
Some construction workers directed us to this flight of stairs and we picked up the pace, excited that we were on the right track.
Something didn't seem right... the pictures i saw online not like that one leh.. and where are all the people?
Aaaand we reached the top in 5 mins, baffled at what the fuck we just climbed. After consulting google and confirming that the angle of the scenery should have been much much higher, we deduced that the locals have conspired against us to tire us out before reaching the real 象山.
The best part was Kl painstakingly time-lapsing the whole process only to realise we had climbed up the wrong path. Hao xiao.
But since we were already up here, might as well wefie 一下.
Unintended selfie #3. Android masterrace too advanced for ios plebs to understand. With our morale depleted and the sun setting, we climbed down to find the correct entrance by ourselves.
We finally found the cb stairs, tucked away in a small alley. Seeing so many elderly people climbing down, we figured this must be easy lah.
Wa knn the stairs abit long ah.
TOTALLY NOT SHAG EZ MOUNTAIN + NICE RAIN TO HYDRATE US
Climb mountain wink lan jiao
NOT PANTING AT ALL JUST DISAPPOINTED SIGHS AT HOW SIMPLE THIS CLIMB IS.
My sore legs were ever so grateful these were the last few steps to the viewing platform.
How elephant mountain got its name. Not because there are fucking elephants up here.
Elephants or not, the scenery is nothing short of majestic.
A light drizzle, heavy winds in 15 degrees, a good combination for...
...hard nipples. Had a tough time stopping them from erecting.
Elephant mountain, conquered.
We arrived at the perfect time to be able to catch both day and night views.
Totally worth having jelly legs.
Kl still trying to resemble a fuckboy, but coming off more as a pervert.
Dark environment and shivering hands made it difficult to wefie properly.
A few failed tries later, we gave up trying to be independent.
Ask strangers to help us take photo still want to poh gang sign. Sibei xia suay.
Best part of the hike was meeting a bunch of young Japanese girls on the way down. Shouted "gambatte" at the spur of the moment and they responded "ehhhhhh?! thank you!!" in broken english. Kawaii neh~
Using the excuse of treating ourselves after all that exercise, we proceeded to the ever happening Raohe night market.
A night market a day, will soon land us in the hospital bay.
Right smack in the middle of one of the entrances is the renowned pepper buns stall.
The meat and its juices packed in the crispy pastry are scalding hot, so beware of burnt tongues, which may hamper your oral sex experience that night.
One for Ym to fantasize about.
Always couldn't resist getting myself one of these tender chicken thigh sausages.
Definitely not because they look like uncircumcised penises.. hahas...
Neither could i ignore the sweet and succulent Taiwanese sausages.
Our favourite grilled baby scallops are a must during every night market visit.
Lai liao lor. All that hiking gone down the drain.
Japanese style omelettes with 12 toppings to choose from..
..and yet I fucked up and ordered the plain version. Might as well have stayed home and cook it myself. Hen ashamed.
Shop plastered with TV recommendations yet no queue? Sign us up!
Whoever watches this and doesn't get excited by that runny yolk is probably impotent.
Accurate depiction of a couple's differing facial expressions during shopping.
Pretending to take photo with the booth, but actually sniping the chiobu and censoring the bf. Such mad photography skills.
Taiwanese yunhua sho pretty ♥♥♥ I want to smother you in miso sauce and sprinkle seaweed on you and eat you up.
I was referring the grilled mushrooms of course...
Eye eat full already, mouth's turn to eat. Shrooms were nothing to waow about, but at least we were within aoe to get a whiff of a 女神's scent.
Mong Jia Ji Pa is a fried chicken cutlet chain opened by Nono, the comedian. Not the one with leaked nudes.
The batter is delicately crispy, and the meat is moist and tender. Can give 悪魔鸡扒 a run for their money.
One for Reagan to fantasize about...
哎哟, 不错哦
Full af but there's always room for desserts.
Night markets and kiap kiap machines always go hand in hand.
Jh has been training those biceps for this moment. But play until so serious win already also no gf to give.. );
The friendly rivalry between Yc and Kl leads to shooting hoops at the arcade.
How to ensure game is competitive: Loser next 10 years no girlfriend.
Up next, a battle with oneself that requires hand-eye coordination.
Play basketball until hand cacat cannot control properly
Reagan joining in and getting a 2 second stun by the machine.
Passed by a huge crowd of mostly men cheering at a souvenir shop. 有酱exciting吗?
Turns out the commotion was caused by a JAV actress who was filming a travelogue. She was surrounded by so many people that we couldn't even get close enough to see her hair. Only managed to snap a picture of her by virtue of Kl's long arms.
Turns out she is Yua Mikami, the second girl from the right. As to why i know her name... well lets just move on shall we?
Disappointed that we didn't get to see a pornstar, but we did get to see some poor guy's asscrack.
Kl felt sorry for the friendly uncle and purchased a box of dragon beard candy. Good on you!
It was extremely dry and hard to swallow, and he managed to trick me into eating one.. Fuck you!
Operation dispose 龍鬚糖. Look at that sly grin while he sneakily offers the rest of the burden candy. 好朋友有福同享, 有难同当.
Not learning from his lesson, he buys something called candied onions immediately after.
It was just another version of malt sugar candy, just shaped into spring onion shapes. Fk you hor can stop buying and feeding us weird shit?
A serious Jh contemplating using sanitary pads as diapers, which will save even more water compared to not flushing his shit. Done with the night market, we agreed to call it a day and return back to the apartment.
Auntie on the mrt applauding SG Song Joong Ki's charming face.
For some reason, our TV lost signal for a long time. Deprived of the porn channel, we resorted to playing random games on the television.
Click here to waste away 9 mins of your life watching an epic battle of wits between man and artificial intelligence... Warning: lots of trashtalking included.
No day in Taiwan is complete without supper, and 7 eleven has got us covered.
Favourite 凉面 with onsen egg and spicy popcorn chicken, which were abit soggy and gao wei because i never microwave properly.
Being 美男s, we have an obligation to maintain and pamper our beautiful faces for the adulation of the public.
We actually snapped these masks up on day 1 but forgot to use it until now. I have to say, the gold flakes are super effective! It forces you to wash your face a hundred more times to get rid of the annoying glitter.
Instead of a conclusion, i'll just end the post off with this video... Shhhhhh..
- End of Day 5 -
1 comment:
you guys rocks \m/
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