I’m taking precious time to write this blog post so that my wife doesn’t suspect that all i did was play game while she returned to Taiwan. So let’s fly through day 4 so i can get back to painting and hiding in some smelly smelly dark dark spot in Meccha Chameleon.
We had one last important thing to do before leaving Osaka, but the first order of business is another pre-breakfast breakfast with my best enabler, Sj.
Said this a million times before but pork sausage mcmuffins just hit differently, like how the car hit me at Tampines Ave 4 but in a good way.
After thoroughly enjoying my burger, i was then surprised by Day 1, 2 and 3 Js who had left some emergency onigiris for me in the fridge.
3 things in life are certain. Life, death and forgotten konbini snacks coming back to haunt us.
Consuming them turned out to be a really bad idea because the actual breakfast is a seafood marathon at our beloved Kuromon Market, a magical place where your Japanese yen turns into fresh seafood and amazing produce.
There are plenty of fishes in the sea, which is why i am going to bankrupt myself attempting to eat every single species here.
We kicked off with some sushi to whet our appetites even though i already had 2 lumps of vinegared rice in my tummy.
Starting with a round of salmon belly and sea urchin to lubricate our throats.
As if that was not enough omega 3, we also had aburi mentaiko salmon and our new found love, torched engawa (flounder fin) that simply dissolves upon contact with your tongue.
From Hat Yai to Osaka, Reagan's beloved mixture of crab poop and innards makes another appearance.
Ordered a couple of fresh red prawns for Eug and Vina but since they weren't on this trip, i had little choice but to eat them all by myself.
They were so mind-bogglingly sweet that i could not resist getting some amaebi and a cheeky squid sushi.
Additionally, we also had some salt grilled tiger prawns to complete our hat trick of shrimps.
The prized sea bream sashimi had an enjoyable texture and the flavour of a well washed vagina, no fishiness at all.
I did not hesitate to order the shirako (cod fish sperm) when i saw that it was available on the menu, which in no way represents my preferred sexuality.
A great meal deserves a great ending, and you cannot get any more luxurious than the most expensive piece of sushi, otoro.
Feeling imbalanced with just a single slice of fatty tuna, we explored the area in search of more.
The most decadent tasting fish in the ocean, it was only right to have an entire tray to ourselves.
Armed with a $30 travel insurance and feeling adventurous, we sampled a fish that contains a deadly neurotoxin up to 1,200 times more potent than cyanide and has no known antidote.
In hindsight, it wasn’t the wisest choice to try pufferfish from a street market stall but either way it tasted horrible both raw and cooked.
Having experienced our brush with death, we returned to the usuals like shellfish and Din Tai Fung.
The fresh oysters glided down my throat like the aftermath of a well executed blowjob. Again, this is not representative of my preferred sexuality.
The perfectly grilled, plump scallops absolutely stole the show.
Some people would have returned to the hotel lobby to wait and stress their friends by now but not us, for the feasting had yet to end.
Half a spiny lobster at $15 sounded like a steal, but other than looking impressive, it was tough and stringy.
But it was quickly redeemed by the uni, which was sweet and delicate even though it was not the peak winter season yet.
A Kuromon market trip is not complete without having some insanely priced fruits that you will need to scam your girlfriend's mother before buying.
Nice to see you again, old friend. The honey melon was amazing as ever, intensely sweet with juices gushing out of every bite.
We probably got ripped off for these persimmons which were very different from the soft, sweet and gooey type i am used to. We evenly shared the cost of the fruits instead of stealthily sampling some and fucking off like a stingy little imp.
Coincidentally thematic, we bought some freshly baked fish-shaped taiyaki to round off our seafood adventure.
We had so much amazing food throughout the afternoon, but our favourites were definitely the Lawson’s fried chicken and oden.
We hurriedly sneaked in some last minute shopping before hopping onto the shinkansen, bidding farewell to Osaka and embarking on the next leg of our trip.
Thumbs up for pro choice, because reproductive rights are human rights too. But fuck face masks though, nobody needs that uncomfortable shit during covid.
Konbanwa Toyama~ Located on the bay of the Sea of Japan, this city is known for its seafood and access to breathtaking nature.
After performing a quick check in at our hotel, we had cup noodles from 7-11 for dinner.
As if anyone would make such a retarded suggestion and waste a meal in Japan. We instead found a random hamburg restaurant nearby and the food quality was as surprising as the news that she was pregnant.
Jooshy patty with a skillfully cooked omelette that was delightfully runny inside. I still have wet dreams about this dish from time to time.
Our table ordered some sides like grilled chicken to share, unlike the other group where a lady was smartly protecting her finances from a scammer.
Japanese rendition of pastas are often disappointing apart from set C at Yomenya Goemon, and this version strongly resembled Saizeriya’s in a bad way.
Lol sorry i can’t even recall wtf is this.
However, i can remember the taste of agedashi tofu even if i were diagnosed with dementia. Yes, i know it is made of cheap ingredients, i know it is easy to make, but i will still order it every god damn time.
Refusing to learn from my nasty surprise this morning, we visited a konbini to purchase snacks in fear of starving to death midway through the night.
We just had to contest the claims that Lawson fried chicken tastes better than otoro, scallops and honeydew. Our experiment concluded that the down syndrome likeliness was not just limited to her appearance. Or perhaps it was all a ploy to prevent wasting money on a freeloader? The plot thickens…
Bonus: There are a total of 5 chameleons hiding in the pictures throughout the post. Can you hunt them all? *Weet Whew*
- End of Day 4 -
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