All this job hunting got me feeling like i’m on Singles Inferno, trying to sell myself and outshine the other applicants. And it turns out i’m just like Choi Mina Sue since i keep telling different companies that i’m interested in them in the hope that they will bring me to Paradise. Anyway, it’s late Aug 2022 and Jh invited us to his hometown of Muar for an exciting weekend of eating and nuaing. Yes, that’s exactly the same agenda as my past 3 trips and no, i'm never getting sick of it.
We begin in Th’s hometown of Boon Lay, hurriedly dabao-ing our dinner in an attempt to beat the Friday causeway jam into our neighbouring country.
Eating an entire Mcdonald’s meal in the car wasn't too bad, even with Jl, Reagan and i squeezed in the back because 我们很 skinny.
However, our efforts to save time were in vain as Malaysia did Malaysia things like closing off a few kilometres in a double lane to fix a tiny portion of the road. It was midnight when we finally arrived in Muar, which was incidentally the perfect time for supper.
Good maggie goreng pattaya, average limp prata and the worst ice milo known to mankind. The duality of Malaysia's mamak shops are what makes every visit a surprise.
Jh's mom allowed us to stay at their newly purchased and renovated home with the only condition of keeping it clean. Thanks Jun Ma 你很不 niao leh.
No need to play rock paper scissors as there were plenty of rooms to go around. The house was so huge that it was already 3am by the time we passed Jh’s standby area inspection. Not to worry, we would surely be able to sleep until 自然醒 the next day-
NOPE. Rise and shine at 9am for breakfast, bitches, because 早起的鸟儿可以吃多一个 meal.
The nostalgic taste of Malaysian wanton mee with dark soy sauce always hits the spot, even if it is topped with the driest, most cardboard looking char siew you’ll ever see.
Paired with some 44 roast pork because it was only half as good as 88 Hong Kong roast meat specialist’s version.
We also shared a bowl of porridge to try and break the 6 meals in a day high score set in Ho Chi Minh city. Unfortunately, the official rules state that everyone has to eat one bowl each then counted, so don’t play cheat hor.
Felt rich in Muar so we decided to visit the cafe with the most expensive sounding name.
Reagan’s expression tells you all you need to know about their beverages, or perhaps he was trying to secretly wink at me? (⸝⸝> ω <⸝⸝)
A much needed short nap later, Jh brought us to a seaside zi char restaurant where the salty breeze smelled like private parts that have not been washed in ten days.
Guan yin ma, Allah and Jesus Christ please give me the strength to resist the temptation to order everything on the menu.
Come seaside must eat seafood, so we started with a safe order of clams with ginger and onion.
Followed by an adventurous order of stingray stir fried in chilli sauce.
In Muar, it is punishable by law to refuse an otah when presented with the opportunity to have one.
Calamari sluts chasing for that same amazing squid texture in Turkey but getting disappointed each time. Hey Siri, play 林俊杰’s 总是学不会.
Sometimes these food pictures are a major test of my memory, especially deep fried chunks of shit where you can’t really make out the original ingredient. So when i declare that this dish is salted egg yolk eggplant, you will just have to trust me babe.
Braised chicken which is obviously not seafood but we rich so we order.
I only want chye poh tofu, not chye poh omelette or any other kind of tofu.
After a satisfying and heavy lunch, we returned to Jh's house to shake leg until we were ready to eat again.
But before that, we went on a bubble tea run when this atas looking French bakery caught our attention.
Siao siao hor these pastries are made by a chef who studied in France and on first impression, it definitely seemed a level above normal bakeries. The cakes were so intricately crafted and at RM 16.90 per piece, SURELY this would taste delicious.
You’ll have to wait for our review of the cakes, for now it was time for dinner at We Kitchen. For starters, we had a very foamy mushroom soup that looks suspiciously like someone spat into it.
We also got a fancy dish of foie gras on toast just to flex our spending power.
The star of the night, a large serving of garlicky clams because these little fuckers are just so addictive.
And for mains, a thick, crispy slab of chicken cutlet. The food quality is pretty similar to Aston's and at only half the price. Overall a really good meal with fantastic value.
At the rate we were feasting, we were right on track to expand into the same size as Mr. Blue Shirt here.
To aid with digestion, we went window shopping at Muar’s biggest mall… which was still smaller and less crowded than Century Square.
The best purchase of the night wasn't from the shopping mall, but rather from a roadside burger stall. As Confucius once said, either go ayam double special add cheese or go home.
And what about those French pastries from earlier? Well, they were absolutely dogshit and i refuse to spend anymore of my time describing its mediocrity. Tbf they never said the chef go France to study baking, maybe she went there to study accountancy? The cake shop has toh-ed since May 2024 and that's all that needs to be said.
Says alot when the best cake of the night was the fish cake in the otah. But fret not, for there is plenty more good food waiting for us to eat in part 2 of our Muar trip. Coming to theatres near you.
- End of Day 1 -
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