Life's good. I'm getting paid while typing this in office while getting distracted by my dumbass colleagues, especially Jenny. She's easily one of the most irritating people, but don't tell her I said that. But what's better is DAY 2 OF OUR MOTHERFUCKING TAIWAN ADVENTURES BABY. READ ON YOU BORED LITTLE BITCHES.
Woke up earlier than expected after a good night's sleep only to find Kl already missing. Probably off to the World gym ogling and masturbating at sweaty old aunties. Went on a morning stroll on my own to explore the bustling streets of Taichung on a Sunday morning and it's.... dead empty. Most of the stores were closed and the lack of people prompted me to u-turn back after 10 minutes.
At least the convenience stores were operating. Fresh milk to kickstart the day.
Saw a little food cart selling sandwiches, burgers, toasts and couldn't resist getting one for myself. The lady and uncle were very friendly once they learned that i was from SG and offered to show me their privates. I politely declined.
Pork burger with egg and cheese. Tasted so so good.. what is ramly burger when you can get heavenly breakfast cooked by horny 原住民s for less than half the price
Back at the hotel only to find out we have been invaded by giao tors. Why are you guys here when you can't even eat that godly burger?!
Quick session of relieving ourselves, making do with what we have. Headed down to Taichung's second market to have our late breakfast.
Ahhh finally signs of life, albeit a little too much. A huge crowd queuing up to buy the 古早味 carrot cake that we had on the previous trip.
Do not believe their lies. Those are just sausage shaped 100% glutinous rice, 0% meat. What soulless person does this?
Oho now got more shapes and sizes? What next? Glutinous rice shaped as tits and dicks? You will never trick me into eating another lump of tasteless shit with your crappy orange sauce again.
360 degrees panoramic professional videography of civilian life at a market it's 3am and i have no idea what i'm talking about.
Trudging through the market's alleys of 古早味 food aka tasteless shit
Ultimately returning to the lu rou fan place we had on the previous trip. Spot the 2 happy xiao didis in the queue
A little tempted to try all the lu rou fans to determine the best of 2nd market but saving stomach space was the smarter thing to do. Continued scouting around the place to find more side dishes to accompany our bowls of porky rice.
Revisiting a place that we've been before to ensure the food wouldn't go wrong.
Got takeaways of 肉丸 (aka soon kueh with meat) and 红油抄手 to feed my 5 hungry kids.
LOOK AT IT. No words, just look. That is all.
Not as good as the fatty counterpart. This is like trying to watch other dramas while waiting for Game of Thrones. You want to bring yourself to love them but you never can because GoT is clearly the superior show. Seriously Reagan pls start watching now so we can watch season 7 together.
Best companion for braised pork rice... too bad the yolks weren't runny.
Peppery wantons in vinegary chilli sauce and nuggets of meat wrapped in sticky, gooey kueh. Good shit.
Another fatty meal and it's only our 2nd day in Taiwan. Road to 1000 kg.
For now, no regrets as we indulge in our hearty breakfast.
Looking for some bubble tea to wash it down.
Squeezing with the people queuing up for tasteless food. I should move to Taiwan and make a killing selling chwee kueh without chye poh.
好奶茶冰~ Armed with our drinks, we were ready to hike to our next destination on an unusually hot and sunny day.
Passed by many shops selling pastries and lemon cakes on the way when we saw this. Ahhh definitely my kind of 伴手礼 if Singapore never banned pornography
After a 10 mins walk, we reached Miyahara eye hospital to get lasik treatment. Just kidding, it's been converted into a harry potter style gift shop and ice cream parlor. Check out them sexy cherry blossoms btw
This building has been around since the Japanese occupation, which is roughly around the period when one of my male colleagues called Wilson, was born judging by his chao lao face.
Random Yc photobombing the couple
360 degrees panoramic professional videography of glorified souvenir shop i'm so fucking tired i just want to get these videos captioned and go to sleep.
EVERYTHING IN HERE IS FUCKING EXPENSIVE. As the queue was very long at the takeaway ice cream parlor, they recommended us to walk 2 streets down to their restaurant where we could dine in.
Don't be fooled by the unassuming storefront, inside is quite atas one.
Is it must poh gang sign? Even Jl joined in to step paikia.
Waddled out of the heat into this beautiful restaurant with the aroma of pancakes and waffles flirting with our noses
Hipster photographer capturing a table while we were focusing on the important things
Choosing 2 flavours of ice cream out of 4 fridges.... That's just impossible.. The different percentage of chocolates, the sorbets, the tea infused ice creams... Hardest choice of my life since deciding between 咕噜肉 or 宫保鸡丁 for my last meat option of my 菜饭.
I thought my hell was over when i finally decided on my 2 flavours after 5 hours. But then, he asked me to marry him choose 3 complimentary toppings to go with my ice cream and i almost 崩溃 on the spot. Good thing Ck never came or he would still be there choosing his ice cream.
Isn't this a beautiful sight? But their kyoho grape ice kacang is chio only lah. Tastewise it's so so, and they didn't even use seedless grapes. My chocolate ice cream was awesome though. The portion is also very very generous. Struggled to finish my 2 scoops.
Jh and Jl's happy faces indulging in their grape ice kacang, compared to Kl and Yc forcibly stuffing their tie guan yin ice cream down their throats because god knows why Kl chose that flavour. Life decisions gone wrong.
After the desserts, we were supposed to visit Taiwan's Museum of Natural Science, but the cab driver took us to the Museum of Fine Arts instead... maybe my chinese really cannot make it. Either way, we decided to go to a nearby famous 太阳饼 (sun cake) store instead as we got no 文化 to appreciate art.
People enjoying their Sunday with a picnic at a huge ass park that seemed to have no end. We gave up attempting to walk over and took a cab instead to save time.
Good thing we chose to cab as the souvenir shop was a little hard to find. But from the number of news clippings you know they have good shit.
I know they are famous for their suncakes, but god damn the shop owner's daughter / daughter in law was so gorgeous. Sadly we only managed to get a back view snipe while pretending to snap the storefront. They were closing for their afternoon break just as we reached, so we decided on our orders hurriedly.
I don't know if the auntie was horny or wanted a taste of our dicks, she was VERY 热情 when told we were tourists from SG. The pile of suncakes and pineapple tarts in the middle were free samples that she spammed us with as we ordered. Kept throwing more and more shit into our plastic bags until we're not sure if she's doing a business or operating a soup kitchen. The suncakes were fragrant milky aroma and the exterior was comfortably flaky, 10/10 would return and get free samples again.
With the delays, we figured it was too late to visit the science museum, so we headed to a nearby park where there was an ongoing flea market instead.
As it turns out, we unknowingly walked to Taichung City Park which explains why it was so happening. Lots of little carts and tents littered around the area selling food and crafts.
After washing our eyes beoing chio bu after chio bu at the park, we crossed the street to a shopping mall known as Park Lane in english, not to be confused with the lup sup looking mall at dhoby ghaut. Just another shopping mall, nothing interesting except more pretty girls.
We were exiting the mall when a chio bu stopped us, obviously smitten by our sex appeal and asked "先生你想要式我们的产品吗?" I had anticipated we would be burdened with this kind of lewd questions since we are charming, charismatic and unbelievably sexy so i instantly responded with "Sorry i already have someone else in mind back at home." I could hear the gushes of warm liquid from her nether regions and sobbing cries as i walked away into the sunset in my Nike™ Roshe.
Lots of friendly dogs up for adoption! We returned to the hotel to release our bowels before heading to Gaomei wetlands. Joan lonely ocb asked to join us and we agreed in unison without a single tinge of hesistation. Like instant. Jitao say ok. Never discuss. 佷ok的.
Gaomei wetlands is located on the outskirts of Taichung. The cab ride over took about an hour, and the hotel staff negotiated the flat fare on our behalf as it was pretty far away from the city center. Before taking in the sights, we gave in to temptations and had some street snacks from the row of vendors.
We can tell who has more experience eating sausages
Yc loves stuffing his mouth full with 1 bite dumplings ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Back to the awesome scenery on display
Look at the amount of people on the platforms that we will be playing royal rumble with...
We were lucky enough to make it just before the sunset. Such a beautiful sight.. like a huge shining nipple looking over all of us.
She is also a beautiful sight and yes i would also like to see her pink shining nipples
Machiam orcs marching to war in LoTR
It looks quite scary that hundreds of people are on these wooden planks simultaneously but it's actually super stable.
Little crabs are cute when found on the seabed, but not in pubic hair
Couple photo with the soon to be disappearing sun
An extra solo picture just in case become single one day...
Lelong lelong single and available
It was enjoyable looking at couples taking photos together, and then there's these 2 single fucks gaying up the whole wooden platform.
Such a petite and cute frame.. i bet it's so tight.. The collar on the dog i mean..
If only route marches had such a beautiful view, i still wouldn't sign on because fuck NS.
"Trying to keep it in.."
"Nope, i can't. Here I look extremely satisfied. Air thrust. WHO WANTS SOME OF THAT?" ← Typed by my gay ass colleagues
Joan felt shy and kept a safe distance from my thrusting motions and mating calls
If you ignore the horde marching to war, this is actually a relaxing place for a stroll.
At the end of the platform, you can take off your footwear and have a free fish spa in the sea.
PERFECT PLACE TO STEAL SOME NEW SHOES
Wefie time! Kl's long arms are the perfect selfie sticks
Confused looks while we set up the real selfie stick
We were taking photos when suddenly Joan got a stroke. Taiwan zeh zeh act cute ke yi ma? Bu ke yi~ hen gao wei~
OK THAT'S ENOUGH PICTURES OF US
A picturesque view of the lit up bridge at night that half of us didn't get to see :(
Took a cab back to the town center, the best night market in all of Taiwan, Fengjia.
People swarming the streets in front of the huge dildo sign representing Fengjia university
People mountain people sea, chio bus drinking bubble tea.
A little appetiser to get things going. Have no idea why we expected this to be different from any other tea leaf egg..
Onwards to the real junk food and mass grinding
German pork knuckles that didn't taste good at all...
Korean fried chicken with different seasonings. We ate like half a million chickens during our trip.
And this was our favourite out of them all. The glorious devil chicken cutlet.
Skin is delightfully light and crispy, and the meat is oh so tender like an 18 year old virgin ripe for picking.
Some seasoned quail eggs as if our cholesterol wasn't high enough
Got tricked by the tv recommendations plastered all over the stall to buy this below average chee cheong fun.
2k mmr chee cheong fun with you tiaos. RETURN ME MY 120 NTD AND WASTED STOMACH SPACE
This is the gem of the night market. Wonderful clams stir fried in the sauce of your choice.
The yummy sweet clams in fragrant butter sauce was hands down our favourite.
Lazy prawns for lazy people
The reason why they are named this way is because you are supposed to eat the prawns whole, with no need to peel the shell. Nothing fantastic.
Up next, 2 boxes of a bunch of shit thrown on top of meat. First up, diluted cheese sauce and random stuff including indigestable corn thrown atop a soggy pork cutlet. 不好吃
Chicken thigh with melted cheese on top was good though. 很好吃
Beef cubes with red wine, a little different from the other vendors offering diced beef.
The hyenas could not wait for me to take a photo before they started attacking it. More indigestable corn!
Took a short break from eating to another one of our favourite pastimes, kiap kiap.
Claw machines with undesirable prizes, including tissue boxes and fake bloodied hands
It's not about the soft toys, it's about catching that little fucker sitting on the edge of the glass.
Queue for this chicken cutlet was insane, so we skipped it.
But the food trail continues. Joan was feeling scared yet aroused at our ability to never stop eating.
These are some nice balls. Nice, firm balls.
Famous chinese prata beside the takoyaki stall
I can tolerate you putting less oil and less salt, but you CANNOT leave out the cheese and bacon.
Nothing like freshly grilled scallops, sweet, savoury and fun to eat.
Mmm look at them little testicles of deliciousness
Raw oysters! Normally we would skip them at night markets but we couldn't resist the temptations
The spring onions and black pepper toppings were genius. This should be mandatory on all raw oysters besides the usual lemon juice + tabasco sauce. So good.
By this point Joan was pleading with us to stop eating and violate her in our hotel room instead. We ignored her and continued looking for more food to dabao for supper.
Dabao-ed oyster mee sua from a 不起眼 shop
Impressive but ugly cotton candies..
Taro balls for Jl because Reagan's balls 不够她来
Returned to the hotel. After showering and freshening up, our room was unfortunately chosen as the gathering point. And no, we did not dabao Joan back.
Kl bought some smelly tofu which we will never understand. It's like buying wanton mee in the morning and purposely waiting till dinner for it to ferment until abit smelly then eat... oh wait..
The mee sua did not disappoint. I will never judge a mee sua stall by its appearance again.
Counting down to Jl's 47th birthday. No better way to celebrate than with 5 hot guys on a hotel bed.
Such a long day 2. Took even longer for me to write this post. Next one probably won't be too far off now that I am unofficially unemployed. Probably.
- End of Day 2 -
1 comment:
yc is so delicious mmmmm mmmm
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