Taiwan Trip 2017 - Day 1: Touchdown, Taichung 台中 & Yi Zhong Street 一中街

Wooo i can finally start writing on Taiwan trip after clearing all the posts from 2016. An 8d7n trip to the land of bubble tea before our next big trip to Hokkaido.

2 essentials for a successful trip, satki itinerary here:
 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Pq5i7dWFMkWbaKku1TOyunkPEYD_1kJ-G5NSJ2WST_o/edit

And Google's point of interests (POI) to never get lost:
https://www.google.com/maps/d/edit?mid=1dAdFelK9pvnH-WKMlFMGgJkFfx0&ll=24.143369039321477%2C120.67675258922804&z=12

Here we go!

Gathered at the airport at 5am for check in and we got fucked first thing in the morning. Basically i fucked up and booked our portable wifi from wifibaby instead of changi recommends, and you had to collect it from collyer quay in advance instead of changi airport (which is fucking inconvenient and retarded). In the end we had no portable wifi and decided to get sim cards in Taiwan instead. A rather ominous start.

Good news, no facepalms during check in. Bad news? The transit area was under renovation and the only food option was kaya toast with limited seats. At least we managed to find some seats and fill our tummies with some roti and telur.

Traditional sg breakfast. Nothing close to inducing orgasms

Kl's orgasms were induced though, at the thought of pretty taiwan meimeis waiting for us in 4 hours

Most of us knocked out on the plane due to lack of sleep the previous night. Even Kl managed to spare us by sleeping most of the time. I said "most" because i caught him grinning and staring at Jh while he was asleep for god knows what reasons.

Yes, i am showing you how big Taoyuan's airport toilet is. No, I do not know the guy who is peeing. Yes, he noticed me videoing.

Touched down in Taoyuan airport (this time with luggage) and we visited the airport's food court to grab lunch before the 2 hour bus ride to Taichung.

There're so many food options, including burger king but we preferred something local instead.

Always heard about the Hsinchu bee hoon but it tastes gum pua normal, or maybe it's just the airport one cmi. The pork fats splattered atop was good shit though. I liked their 贡丸 because they resemble my balls. Big, juicy and substantial. The long deep fried fritters were like some kind of ngoh hiang, a little funky but they didn't taste bad.

Yc figuring out what the fuck he ordered from his gelat meal while the rest of us gobbled up ours. Headed to the bus terminal afterwards and caught the next bus that was leaving for Taichung. (Guo Guang, Free Go and UBus all have buses to Taichung / Taipei. Just go to their counters and see the timetables for the next bus.

Got some good rest on the 2 hours bus ride and watching Kl get rekt playing texas poker online.

Bus driver has a really hypnotic voice

The bus dropped us off at Taichung train station and we swapped for a short cab ride to our hotel.

First twmm that caught our eye. So sexy see already sibei gian pia until she/he/it 叫救命

Got roomed with Kl after a game of "oh pay som". The new ritual when entering a hotel room, you switch on the tv immediately and search for channel 99. Unfortunately this hotel did not provide that glorious channel. Still, it's a pleasant and spacious room though.

Free drinks and 包 from the hotel. 

First on the agenda was to meet our tw zeh zeh Joan whom we met from our previous trip for dinner. We stayed right opposite the happening Yi Zhong street, alot of shops, alot of malls and alot of chio bu, including a huge Hebe billboard looking after us. Thanks Hebe. 

Hipster looking buildings while we cut through the shopping streets

Youngsters everywhere. Kind of feels like bugis in a way. We left behind the bright lights and noisy shops, and turned into a dark neighbourhood, wondering if Joan was baiting us into a secluded area to suck our young dicks.

Finally met her at this shady restaurant that specialises in dog meat. Just kidding, it's just a pet cafe that we passed by.

Signboard ask me to tell all of you, in some ulu corner of Taichung city, SGD $2.50 for 4 vege 1 meat cai fan eat till full full. Please pass on the message.

Finally arrived at the restaurant after a 10,000 mile hike. Banana mango high school  香蕉新乐园! Sort of a nostalgic place for Taiwanese as the place is designed to look retro. You can't miss the place with the bus (painted with naked babies) stationed right outside. 

Entrance abit 不起眼 but once inside, is got 60s feel de lor 

Is jinja retro but luckily the girls weren't retro. 是的小姐,你被snipe了. Really thankful to Joan 姐 who took her time out to let us try authentic Taiwanese cuisine. From her hospitality, we could have been forgiven for thinking that she wants us to taste even more taiwanese "flavours"... Also she super 破费 bought a box of lemon cakes for each of us. We only got her a packet of laksa instant noodles and ya kun kaya spread.. sibei paiseh.

There's something special about eating in here.. The decor, the ambience, an intimidating female cougar wanting to suck us dry... 

Ordered a bunch of dishes based on the waiter's recommendations. The 油饭 on the menu caught our eye. Japanese pearl rice drizzled with a delightful garlic soy sauce, a great alternative to the usual bowl white rice.

Pork with garlic sauce. Delicious and tender the first few pieces but towards the end is really 腻.

Deep fried dough fritters with stuffing. It's ok, but lose our hei zou  (prawn roll) by a mile

Cod fish in some superior sauce. I don't usually eat steamed fishes but this meat was melt in your mouth good. The waiter confused us about the little brown balls braised with the fish, saying they use it to wash clothes or some shit. 

By this point i was too lazy to take the other dishes individually. Special mention must go to the 梅菜扣肉 for reminding me the feeling of losing your virginity. My mouth had not felt such soft meat/fats having sex with my tongue in a long while. The clams were also pretty good. Tapioca leaves were not cooked with sambal, which was a blasphemy. And finally a weird hakka vegetable dish that was meh. Overall the meal was very satisfying (but abit too much fats quite gao wei). Joan attempted to treat us to the meal but we defended our singaporeans' kiasu reputation and treated her to the meal instead. She showed her appreciation by removing her clothes but Kl said 小姐请先不要.

"我就找新男朋友咯" - Jialing 2017

After happily filling our tummies, it's time to hip xiong! 

Old fucks trying to look like primary school kids. Joan insisted on sitting beside Ck 师父

Old cinema ticket booths, way easier to smuggle old chang kee in

Old textbooks on the cover, but full of hentai child pornography inside? You never know..

Looking through their collection of antiques which weren't very interesting.  More like a bunch of old toys.

Gatling gun from a propeller plane?..

...Or an enormous dildo ready to tear my rectum apart?

A moment of silence for the 2 ladies quickly approaching menopause

Random wefie with absolutely nothing to let her feel included

YOU ARE MY DESTINY..... KUDE

Words on the sign may have been photoshopped. Cb zai nans representing, loud and proud.

"做个 pose!" *Proceeds to manslut*

Walked passed a demure looking 8/10 waiting for the postman to arrive. Couldn't help myself and started chatting him up. We exchanged numbers and now he publishes rubbish comments on every one of my blog posts as "anynomous". 

When your wife announces she is pregnant and excited to welcome the next chapter of your lives but all you wanna to do is play video games

Peekaboo! It's a bian tai shu shu!

Eerie glowing green light in the train makes Jl look even more like ghost

Train to Taichung

Very fortunate to catch a couple doing a wedding photoshoot. Don't they just look so cute together? (;

Parted ways with Joan after dinner and camwhoring, but little did we know this was not the last we saw of her...

Made our way back to Yi zhong street using the main roads inside of back alleys this time round.

Visibly more shops and shoppers appeared as it got later.

Got our first bubble tea fix since landing. There's no 奶茶冰~ in the world like Taiwan's. 

Reagan and Jl getting their drinks from a different shop. There were at least 10 bubble tea stalls within close proximity of each other

Mechanic: "What you want?"

Him: "I want my car to look like a condom packaging"

Mechanic: "Say no more"

This ghost town is nicknamed "Ximending of Yi Zhong". Yea.... i don't think so...

Random alley of roadside ramen stalls and a mini shopping centre that did NOT have a toilet, much to our dismay.

Resting our legs while Reagan bought his taiwan umbrella that was more satki than our jap umbrellas. We lost boys.

Finally we reached the most happening section, the street food!

Wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world

On the first day, everything looks good and i want to try it all. By the end of the trip i wanted to barf at the sight of a 炸鸡排

A must have everytime, diced beef cubes

Juicy and tender, yet has a nice chew to it. Much like how nipples would taste if people chopped them off and blowtorched them.

Yakitoris were nicely marinated, my only qualm was that they were not fresh off the grill  

Evening eat deep fried 蘑菇, at night eat Reagan's 菇菇

An open space area where people are stuffing their faces with street snacks while enjoying a mesmerizing performance by a few teenagers.

Wait for it......

Before returning to the hotel and calling it a day, got our water and toiletries at a supermart, and checked out the snacks at a Seven. Brought this back to sg and sadly it tasted nothing like oyster omelette. 

Hello old friend, we meet again..

OMG THESE COLD SESAME NOODLES SO YUMMEH SOMEONE PLS SELL IN SG IT'S ALWAYS SUMMER HERE IT MAKES PERFECT FUCKING SENSE I WILL FUCK A COW

Before heading to bed, Kl and i felt that the room was a little warm, so we tried to lower the temperature. Unfortunately, to operate the air-con controller, you would need a bachelor's degree in rocket science and an IQ of 500. The fucking temperature increased everytime we lowered it. Adjusted to 21 degrees? SORRY I FEEL THAT 23.9 WOULD WARM YOU UP NICELY INSTEAD. Try to change it even further to 18 degrees? BAM HOW ABOUT SOME 24.8 DEGREES SAUNA EXPERIENCE WHILE YOU SLEEP. Memories of the nightmare in Kyoto flashed across our minds...

Afraid that we would die in our sleep, we called the concierge and he saved our lives by strategically restarting the air-con after an extended evaluation of about 2 seconds. It was so simple, yet so effective. We slept well that night all because of you, Mr. genius concierge guy. Thank you.

- End of Day 1 -