Hey there. Yep still unemployed. Swimming everyday. Back is getting charred. Getting cancer from the sun. But the blog never stops. Here are some of the many outings (some involuntarily dragged) with the peeps from work.
Had a bbq at Ma Sai's place, which was actually a cover-up to matchmake people. (Don't blame us that was the matchmaking season) Guess which retard reached earlier than the owner who literally stayed upstairs.
I can't recall much except enjoying the awkward interactions and the mountain of otah. Seriously, Yvonne's 50 otahs almost killed us, just check out Cyn's shag face while devouring them. Btw Alicia your shirt got holes.
Lots of people kenna laosai during and after the bbq. I wonder why...
One of the shortest bbq i ever attended that ended at 3pm. But hey, at least it kickstarted season 1.
When they trusted me to lead them from clarke quay to dhoby ghaut to eat pancakes, but we ended up climbing fort canning hill instead. To be fair, 1) google maps doesn't show elevation 2) it looked like the quickest way 3) we can proudly claim that we climbed fort canning hill 4) Jenny loves walking anyway
Here you can see instagrammers in their natural habitat, letting their followers know what food they eat, what time they sleep, what colour underwear they wear etc.
Had dinner after work at 85. It was inevitable this would happen when they ordered the sambal stingray..
Her babies forever getting stolen, whether it's ryan or that ugly platypus thingy.
Elayne don't be so obvious, i know you notice me very long already ❤
Ok la 叔叔 give you his attention ;)
Obligatory group photo as if a random dinner is something memorable. Also, i received this weird letter the following week called a restraining order that prohibits me from going anywhere near Elayne. Weird.
What time is it? It's pizza time!
Mmm.. not sure which is yummier the pizza or Willy's sexy unbuttoned shirt..
Highlight of the night was giggling at asscracks. Yes i know we 幼稚.
One of the worst decisions of my life was agreeing to go on a treetop trail at Macritchie. The best part of the hike was preemptively replenishing the energy we were going to lose with fatboys.
Smacking her lips while checking me out, obviously sexualizing me as a piece of meat. 小姐请你尊重点.
The dreaded beginnings of a long route march..
Haha nice jeans and boat shoes
Because nobody wanted to pose with the sign, so a photo of this auntie will have to do.
Massive props to that girl in tight leggings for motivating me up the slope before the treetop walk. I wouldn't have made it without your butt encouraging me upwards.
At least we will all die in an orderly line if the bridge snaps.
The undoubted highlight where you can see neverending trees and be demoralised by the fact that civilisation is still a long way out.
Sun too big eyes too small
Haha which dumb fucks will want to climb the tower after all that walking
Oh...
The view up there was superb! More trees!
Shag faces, hot and sweaty, why are we doing this? It was an ok trail, would have preferred more sights than just trees and stairs though.. The bridge and tower were the 10 mins that made the 2 hour hike worth. Good experience, but once in this lifetime is enough.
We still had enough energy in us to visit a lupsup ktv that night. Go figure.
Planned a bowling date at safra aaaaaaand it's gone.
Guess which 帅哥哥 i saw on the bus? Flexing his muscles even while holding his phone.. tsk tsk.. In hindsight it was probably safer to take the bus all the way to Ehub. Willy almost killed us all on the drive there, but it kickstarted a random adventure around SG with the best gps money can buy: me navigating with google maps.
That bowling strut is on point
Before i was the next Joseph Schooling, i was the next Remy Ong.
Come some 四连拍!
哎哟, 不错哦!
非常好! Keep it up!
Last but not least, the priceless moment when Jenny finally got sick of my shit and moved on with her life. Next, we were off to lagoon @ east coast park for dinner.
I'm cursed with not being able to eat a wanton mee that i really crave for because the stall will always be closed. Thankfully this wasn't one of those days.
Seemed like we overdid it.. but with these monsters more food is never a problem.
And then suddenly go Nex for desserts where i revealed my bvrrvrrr fantasy. I mean there really isn't a better way to die than being suffocated by boobies.
Ended with some late night shopping for snacks to feed the hungry little creatures at work. The honey camomille tea was a mistake.
On another occasion, we visited the zoo and river safari on a 2 parks for the price of 1 deal. Surprisingly, the first animal i saw that day was at Bedok mrt station.
This marked the first outing with our Ally, and we learned alot about his masturbation habits on the bus ride ;)
At the entrance, a couple of beasts being way too affectionate in public.
RUN MAKCIK RUN THE CROC IS GONNA MAKAN YOU. It was mostly fishes at the river safari, which isn't all that interesting to me considering they just swim back and forth.
The star of the show, jia jia, or is it kai kai? Either way there was only one at the time and we didn't get to watch hot panda sex.
Paid an extra $5 to get a little wet and admire the back of Cyn's head. The cool stuff like jaguars and capybara are part of the Amazon river quest which is like a DLC, which would have been worth it if half the exhibits weren't missing.
Scarier than any haunted house ride
My spirit animal. Just eating and floating around looking fabulous.
Over at the zoo, it's pretty much all about the balls
And the butts.
Ending with dinner at some teppanyaki place where Willy joined us because he hates animals. Fuck Willy.
One thing we all love though, are burgers.
Fuck that's sexy... sigh *unzips*
Eventually we went on more and more burger dates..
But all of them were perfect only because of you, Ally. You complete me like melted cheese on a burger patty.
A rare gathering after work to celebrate our queen of fedex making it to 26 years old despite the many stalkers and weirdos chasing after her.
We should have lived true to the "beauty in a pot" name and dunked you into the soup as well.
Seems like you forgot to turn off your weirdo magnet
Nothing weird about this glorious bowl of lobster ramen though. sigh here we go again.. *unzips*
Was supposed to meet her for supper but this stranger showed up instead???
Jenny and Kelly booked a staycation at Capri hotel beside Changi city point and invited us to their lovenest so they wouldn't grow sick of each others' faces.
No prizes for guessing who became the 第三者
Since it was a party we brought along a whole buffet with us, as is tradition.
Imitating Jenny's mating calls in the background, whenever she sees food
Happily stuffing our faces. The room wasn't the biggest but it was cosy with lots of movies to watch.
Ally expertly crafting his masterpiece. Even popiahs can't escape his OCD.
Kelvin putting his muscles to good use. You sure showed that poor popiah who's boss.
Never stay here but satki satki use the facilities 没脸见人. That being said the lounge chairs beside the swimming pool were awesome to chill on while waiting for the disgusting couple to finish their quickie in the room.
We returned to an exciting and fun game of ring of fire while being extremely cautious to avoid Kelly's cum stains. My bladder nearly exploded that night. Never forget the "moan after anything you say" rule.
Dinner at changi village feat. ultra rare guest Jojo. Yuck that couple wear ew so tryhard.
The curse struck again and my favourite ipoh hor fun was closed, but Changi village's nasi lemak filled the void in my heart.
I regret letting them know i have board games at home. Now they keep asking when i'm going to invite them over and i can't hide because they know where i live. Help.
I have to admit those were fun times though. Especially the shitty drawings and interpretations we come up with.
My grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 26, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because Yun Shan's drawing gave me cancer anyway.
Blaming each other because we 没有默契
Somehow thinking of cocks is good workplace etiquette
Physiotherapy session on my bed, a xiao lian hip hopping on my brother's bed, people eating fruits, my computer being used as a lan shop. These people are taking the phrase "make yourself at home" too literally.
Our first and only encounter with Bernard's gf. It's unsettling to meet someone for the first time and they already know that deep inside you're a monster.
Praise the lord for this priceless app called Snow where we can swap our beautiful faces and look absolutely retarded
Ever fantasised Bernard as a pretty xmm? Here you go Ma Sai!
Even Grace isn't safe from our shenanigans.
I thank my lucky stars every night that i wasn't born a girl..
And finally, when we met up for dinner at the dry truffle ramen after our contracts ended.
The face that lights up whenever someone mentions the word "desserts"
Just another day with the 小妹, shamelessly dancing around in public.
Unfortunately i haven't been able to get rid of them from my life so far, so there are still many more recent adventures that i will include in a later post. In the meantime, i have to catch up on the other trips that happened before my memory of them fades. But one thing that will never fade is my ability to eat a sausage seductively.
And on that absolutely random note and 4 seconds of your life wasted, goodbye.
1 comment:
woah can open bra?
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