Taiwan Trip 2017 - Day 6: Wanli Paragliding 野馬飛行, Yehliu Geopark 野柳地質公園 & Keelung Miaokou Night Market 基隆庙口夜市

Fuck. A little late with this week's post but my unemployed lecturer allowed me a few days' extension. 嫁开万岁!

Contacted the paragliding club and confirmed that they were operating, but we had to hurry down in case of any changes in the weather. Fast fast wash lanpa and kukubird, and we were off to the seacoast of Wanli.

But even superheroes need breakfast, so we had a quick bite at the kiosk discovered a day earlier.


First i film you making magic on the griddle, then i film us making magic on the bed 
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Jh, his burger and his trademark ITE 红 sweater. More appetising than the mui fan he forced himself to scarf down because of stomach flu.

Someone's sandwich wrapped in a prata which totally looks like a clitoris.


Ordered something different rather than the usual fare of pastries. The 炒面 did not disappoint. 

They actually sell shots at convenience stores. Our 7 eleven needs to get on their level. Pretty sure there's a hidden meaning in that tagline though...


Boarded a Kuo Kuang bus towards 金青 at Taipei Bus Station. A little confusing as to where to board the bus, but after asking around, we were gucci.

好想问,你好不好?


We were supposed to alight at Wanli elementary school but missed by a stop. It didn't matter in the end as someone from the paragliding club came to fetch us up.

Sincerely thought we were going to die even before getting to jump. The driver swerved up the mountain on the way to the paragliding site as if his van was AE86 and we were the tofu.


In exchange for SGD$70, you get this card which they reclaim immediately. Wtf was the point of giving us the card in the first place?


Getting saddled up and choosing smelly helmets with obiang designs. Not the most fashionable, but better than ending up with a broken skull. 


The take off point. This is where you run off the cliff at top speed and hope the parachute works.

Sadly I did not get to admire the view atop as they were in a rush to beat the incoming rain and i was the first to go.


The view is to die for.. ok not literally. But can you think of a better way to die? Yes i can. Being smothered and suffocated by titties.

This little chick is ready to fly.

Technology was not advanced enough to have the gopro mounted on the helmet, so we had to carry a stupid stick and run down the cliff. As you can see the video looks retarded because i could only film my uncomfortable face while getting rubba rubba by the auntie behind me. Come to think of it, my ass was pretty moist when it was over.. 

The most thrilling part was the run up and not knowing if you were going to leap to your death, but after that it was just a great feeling to soar out into the ocean and then hoping the instructor u-turns back just in time to make a landing. The bad part? The experience only lasted 2 mins because the wind wasn't strong enough. Rip $70.

Still alive? Thumbs up man!


Grinded by a tall instructor from behind? Thumbs up man!

Timelapse of Jl surviving her flight. I also recorded everyone else's attempt just in case it was to be their last living moments.

A little sand in our shoes and buttocks, but the adrenaline rush felt great. 


Watching the instructors pack their parachutes while waiting for the van to come down with our belongings. Initially, we negotiated for the van to send us to Yehliu geopark, but due to them dilly-dallying, we decided to take the bus there ourselves instead.

SG Song Joong Ki sipping on his trendy milk tea while chilling in a cafe.


电车痴汉 drinking hipster coffee after upskirting people with phone on gym bag in mrt. Different standards apply when you're born with a perverse face. 公平吗?

Really enjoyed the black 纯萃 coffee though, sweet and not too heavy on the caffeine.

We were 搭讪-ed by an auntie that migrated from China while waiting for the bus. No joke, i think she really wanted to suck us dry.  Never been so thankful to see our bus arrive.


A few stops later and we made it to Yehliu scenic area, where it was a 10 minutes walk to the geopark located at the coast. 


Visiting Yehliu was not originally in the plan, but since it was nearby and we had time, why not.

Passing through a harbour within the mountains, with strong smells of salt and fish in the air. Kind of like a musky vagina odour, aka chao chee bye.


P A N O R A M A because step artistic photography.


Jl happily volunteering to be used as a prop to snipe girls.

Kl's first steps towards a career as a gravure model.

Welcome to the home of rock formations eroded by wind, into shapes that only imaginative people can see.


Seeing the number of tour buses around, we were prepared to face a throng of tourists.


 The park itself wasn't that badly crowded though. Enough space for everyone to avoid the spit from the tiongs. First impression of the rocks? They just look like many brown nipples on a boob... 

A replica of "Leopard rock" that was destroyed by a typhoon in 2010. Boomz dropping knowledge bombs thanks to google.


The sounds of waves crashing against the shore was quite therapeutic.


Security guards were present at every corner to prevent tourists from doing stupid shit.


Like this badass blatantly ignoring the warning signs because fuck the police.

Puddles of murky sex juices leaked by females when we entered the geopark.

See long already look abit like lotus breast abit gaowei.

The first major attraction is "little princess", a rock that resembles a girl with a ponytail kissing. Like that also can?

Off to the next section to see more people posing with stones.

Sea breeze in my hair, cum stains in my pants. Feels good man.

很想和你再去吹吹风, 去吹吹风~~


Statue of a hero who selflessly swam out to save a drowning child, but perished to the seas as well. 


In my opinion, the rock formations were nothing amazing. However, the scenery around it was stunning.

The most popular attraction here is the Queen's head, which we had to get in line to get a photo with while warding off china tourists trying to cut queue.

Another unique formation is this heart shaped rock, suitable for disgusting couples.

No gf to do nauseating poses? Just grab a friend to fill in the void in my heart.

Stumbled upon yo mama's vagina


Which gave birth to 2 cute little faggots.. Jin er xin

The recreation area could not have been placed at a better spot as our legs were becoming jelly from the sheer amount of walking. After a quick rest, we finished what we started by conquering the last chunk of land before the East China Sea.

The last thing you'll see before getting butt-fucked in the woods..

Continuing our love affair with long flights of stairs after completing 象山 a day earlier.

Bird's eye view of all the losers below. 

Feeling on top of the world.


Well not exactly. We didn't explore the edge of the cliff because, you know, we prefer to be alive.

Beautiful enough as a picturesque background


When borrowing friends to use in photos is not enough, we borrow gf use. Ah bang sikeh sikeh.

Ok enough mother nature, we need some nourishment from all that walking.

The stretch of shops right outside the geopark offered mostly souvenirs and little to eat. We ended up getting some refreshments at a 7-11 to soothe our tummies until we reached Keelung.


The 2 guys who have somehow managed to evade the sex offender's list thus far.


Giant squids that are almost as big as my dick jk more like baby squids 


Wanli crabs are the local specialty here, which is easily recognisable due to its trademark 3 moles. 


Imagine my horror when i realised where Jl's hand was going.


Kl strutting and showing off dat ass. Hungry, wet, and tired, we decided to take a cab over to Keelung.


1 hour later, we are back at the music video location of Jay Chou's 退后, Miao Kou night market.


No Hebe selling sugarcane juice, but there's this glorious lu rou fan stall that is worth starting a gangfight for.


Although less intense in flavours than Jin Feng, they were very generous with the portion.


Even more satisfying when the previous meal was breakfast way earlier. 


Grab yourself a bowl of the famous crab semen, which tastes kind of like shark's fin soup.


Kl giving the "nutritious sandwich" a thumbs up. Don't bluff people hor it was extremely normal.

We prefer our sandwiches unhealthy, so we got ourselves a pork cutlet sandwich with the works.

The ham, egg and mayo combined to take the sandwich to the next level. Good shit.


Drizzle got heavier and it became a struggle navigating through the narrow space between stalls with our satki umbrellas open. 

Hey Cyn didn't know you were in Taiwan.

Couldn't resist having some seafood despite the risk of food poisoning. After all, Keelung is a port city.


These were giant oysters that lightly grilled, but still retained its fresh and sweet taste. So big that they had to be cut up into smaller slices to be enjoyed with wasabi. We left the stall with significantly heavier scrotums. 

Did not expect much from this 刈包 initially, but holy shit was the pork belly tender.

It was a shame i forgot to ask the lady to hold the peanuts and cilantro. The sweetness and veggieness overpowered the taste of the meat.

Yc saw pretty meimei sell simi wasabi takoyaki went and bought 12 back. Because the more you buy, the more impressed they will be by your manliness, that's how it works.

Takoyaki not nice + never get number. Ended up with 12 balls of burden and a broken heart.

It's never wise to fill your stomach with too much liquid while on a night market food hunt, so we were skeptical buying super XL bubble tea.

But the decision was justified, as the best bubble tea on this trip came in the form of supersized 1 litre cups. Dayumm the taro milk tea was good.

Latest in Taiwanese fashion: Having a comb stuck in your hair. Swag.


Jiak ba liao. Time to get out of Keelung and this unceasing rain.

Unfortunately, a cruise ship was too luxurious for us. Instead, we took a $2 bus ride back to Taipei with some fellow Singaporeans.

Did some shopping at Taipei underground mall before heading back home. Was totally checked out by that du lan bin girl while taking photo. Never see people eat oyster until dua lan pa before?


Gathering the courage to ignore the obvious sexual harrassment i just suffered, we continued window shopping in one of the most 宅男 malls of my life.

Otakus dancing away, shops selling games, manga and toy figurines. This was the first time i felt unfit to be called a cb zai nan, because these guys are the true cbs.


The toy capsule machines here were fucking expensive, the cost ranges from NTD 100-200 (SGD $4.50 - $9) each. Sorry i will wait until Japan to spin my gudetama keychain.


Managed to get back in time for some closing discounts on cakes at the bakery right outside our station.

Decided to grab supper from the really convenient convenience stores along the way.

With both family mart and 7-11 within a stone's throw away, we had an abundance of choices.

Cup noodle party! With additional 料.

Preparing food right beside our underwear and socks. Unsanitary? Yes. Any fucks given? None.


Don't know what's hotter. My 红油面 or these guys.


Noodles were neither spicy nor anything special. But the microwaved gyoza and drumlets were delightful.


The star of the show was the 花雕酒面. It was so herbaly i felt like my nose would bleed that night because too 哺. Chicken meat also included much ingredients such extravagant so value wow.

Kl stop watching channel 99 and join in the parteh


We queued for 15 mins to get this packet of curry noodles at the night market just to completely forget about its existence. 4 hours later, we poured out what seems to be a lump of dog poop and attempted to reheat the monstrosity.


It started making mini explosions in the microwave and fearing for our lives, we gave up trying. The cold interior of the noodles did not stop our fan jian spirit from sampling it, and we can confirm that it indeed tastes like shit.

Our supper still ended on a sweet note thanks to the cakes purchased earlier.


好男人s cleaning up after us. Staying together is always fun, especially when we are so used to each other's living habits and masturbation patterns. Except shitting halfway, never flush, take halftime break come out watch tv. Doubt i will ever be comfortable with that..


Kl providing us with another wtf moment when he folded his shirt nicely just to put into the laundry to wash. Needless to say, the shirt came out looking as if it wasn't even touched.

But our Kl is indispensable, the hero we need but don't deserve. Here's him saving our phone's battery life and ensuring we could surf instagram and facebook for an hour before falling asleep, then waking up the next day shag as fuck. You don't know how much that means to us...

At the end of the day, it's about being together, having fun and helping each other out when in need. And without you, my brothers (and sister) life wouldn't be as awesome as it is. Why am i getting sentimental? Because today is world brother day. I RESPECT U bro. You need to tell 12 key brothers you respect them. Blood or not. Hope i get one back. Respect you bro.

- End of Day 6 -

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

哎哟哟! 新加坡的哥哥们!那是哺乳的哺哟!

anynomous said...

我还以为是噗你啊母的噗呢

kent xu said...

Watch your laobu. So easy come crawling back nobody will be single liao.