JB Trips

The hallowed lands of Jay Bee... Where the stuff is cheap, food is good and mei meis are delicious. Throwback to all the JB trips from way back in 2015 when i just hit puberty, though it seems that we do the same shit every single trip.

Oct 2015

Took our usual bus 168 to woodlands after waiting hours for special guest Kat to finish washing her vagina.

Jl du lan because Reagan won't let her give him a handy on the bus, and the 小三 um chio-ing in front

Artistic shot of some stranger thinking about life..

Demonstrating the power of our new camera back then with this superb snap of red tudung lady

Finally reaching the foreign land of woodlands with Yc and Rea giving each other flirty looks in their couple tees

After crossing customs, it's time for food! Round 1 at Soon Fa bak kut teh

Blushing auntie best auntie

Ooh yeah can't resist that tongue action with her meat

Awesome close up of chilli sauce to waste 6.66 MB of your data

Eyes closed because Jl can't stand the sight of her love rival

Bkt where you can diy your own ingredients. Herbal taste was pretty mild so this wasn't that exciting

Some ginger chicken that was pretty good. Served piping hot

Don't understand pig trotters that come with bones. It's like you are indulging in great oral sex and then a strand of pubic hair decides to get in your mouth. Total buzzkill.

As the old saying goes, "in JB if you eat only 1 course, you secretly love to suck cocks".. Round 2 at our fav 纸包鸡 restoran a few footsteps away from the bak kut teh shop.

Coconut drink to cool the body

Don't be fooled by the corpse of this chicken who didn't lift like the KFC birds did, it's packed full of flavour and tender meat. Solid stuff.

Still can't believe you've left us so soon... hope you're doing fine down there.

Wefie after filling our stomachs

Bonus picture that is totally NOT intended to snipe the tight and dua liaps girl behind. BVVRRRRVVRVRRRRVVR

Always brush your teeth after meals kids, with the all new magnum toothbrush

Jh's seductive lip bite and Kat trying to preserve her 白斬鸡 skin tone on the cab back to city square mall, with Ck still struggling to get over Phyllis as they had just broken up recently.

Happy that none of us had to be lightbulb in the other cab with the couple

First video test for our satki camera

Jh covering his duaki 肉棒 while we rested our tired legs after shopping

The incredible Hulk posing with his greener counterpart

Took a cab out to Taman sentosa for a nice tze char meal as food options at the malls are meh

Choosing the unlucky fish that would end up in our tummies

THIS IS FROM 2015 AND I CANT REMEMBER. It's probably mountain pork

Wtf it looks exactly like the previous picture. Er it's probably some chicken

Omg faggots go jb only eat 3 dishes? Get the cocks out ready for us to suck boys.

Sorry we are man as fuck. 大鱼大肉大铁板豆腐 

Ending the trip the way we started it, with selfies on the bus.

AND IT'S AN EAR HOOOOOOOOLE

May 2016

On our next trip we substituted Kat for Yw. This time no average bkt and went straight for the more than above average paper wrapped chicken

HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AND SEXY

All time favourite dish

Half eaten fu rong egg that looks like 被狗咬过

Finally got our soy sauce steamed fish right after a million attempts at ordering. 

More wild boar meat

Yes we are hungry ghosts. Also, free watermelon provided!

Ck preparing to wank and cry after a wonderful meal as reality sets back in

Sky was dark dark after we were done eating. Even the heavens cry at the number of creatures that had to die for our lunch

Being disciplined, we kept up our good habit of brushing teeth after a meal

A short cab ride to KSL to buy our favourite cheapo slippers

Yw starting a new chapter... by tossing away the slippers his ex gave him

Discovered a secluded japanese food court hidden away in some corner of city square. Guess not many people know about it as it was pretty empty.

Cheapest jap meal of my life this set cost less than 10 SGD. Got soba, sashimi and tempura.

Buying some secret recipe cakes back for the fam because confucius say 听妈妈的话

July 2016

Welcome back to HD photos because i got my newer phone in mid-May. Yet another JB trip, this time with a very special girl :) For the first time we didn't go back to the same area for lunch. A 10mins walk from city square mall is Restoran Ya Wang, home to cheap and juicy roast ducks 

Pigeons everywhere attacking people who have come to devour their brothers and sisters

Safely reached without getting "bombed"

Like a brothel in amsterdam, ducks hung out to seduce you in

Hotplate beancurd all day err day

Can't go wrong with sambal kangkong

Their roast pork and char siew were melt in your mouth tasty as well

And there it is. The reason we woke up at 9am and made the almost 3 hour journey into Malaysia. Fatty, juicy, roasted herbal duck. You were born and raised for this moment... you died for a good cause mr duck.

We got half a duck for 2 different flavours. Although both were delish, can't remember but one is better than the other. 

Accompanying all that is a plate of al dente noodles

Virgin trip to the nearby Hiap Joo bakery after our orgasmic meal

Straightaway you can smell the kim jio aroma. Also check out their retro fireplace oven.

mmmm fluffy banana cakes...

Om nom nom Jh's mouth can actually fit pretty big thingys eh? Hehe ;P

Visiting an authentic liang teh shop to cure Ck's heatiness. Because he's soooo hawt ;9

This girl is fucking hot as well ♥

For dinner, we tried out a new seafood tze char place near KSL. As you can see from Jh's perplexed look at the salted egg sauce, it wasn't very good

CUM TASTED SO WEIRD WE SPILLED OUR DRINKS

Oily omelettes, such a guilty pleasure

You tiao (dough fritters) with the tiniest amount of fillings stuffed in them

Most boring toufu ever. I'm sorry hotplate beancurd for betraying you and ordering this shit instead.

Best dish hands down was the stir fried lala. But this was their large portion..

Sharks' fin soup because live like king yada yada

The signature dish was their butter crayfish, which was quite good actually. But the amount of meat inside was more pathetic than a prawn...

Nevertheless it was a decent meal. Usually we like to order until the waitress worry there's too much food, then advise us to reduce our order, then we tell her no we are men, and proceed to finish every dish while stroking our massive dicks and balls all the way back to SG.

Jan 2017 Part 1 aka Memoirs of 3 male slaves

Went into jb on the first day of 2017 with the colleagues. I actually hate all of them to the core but bo bian i'm a social butterfly and popz as shit so cannot decline when they jio but don't tell them that. Nothing exciting happened on the journey there except some muscular guy who repeatedly reminded others to bring passport but forgot his own. Also discovered a bubble tea right at the entrance of city square which was really good. Had Ya Wang for lunch again, and headed back to the mall for the ladies to begin painting shit on their nails while Kelly, Willy and i roamed the mall looking for more food.

Settled for some dim sum called Canton-i or something. Here we have liu sha baos which were soft, round, and bouncy to the touch ( ͡͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ °)

A blogger's sacrifice is to destroy your own food for the maximum eye pleasure of your viewers. Imagine how emo i was wiping up the salted egg sauce from the plate with my bao.

Xiao long baos were average at best. XO carrot cake was crispy and fragrant. xoxo indeed

Introducing my fellow slaves. They blamed me when i took so many attempts to take this selfie that the food got cold, but i never blamed their ugly faces for spoiling the photos.

WAITING 10,000 YEARS FOR GIRLS TO BE DONE. Even got tricked into serving them famous amos cookies in the nail parlor... 我没资格做男人... We really didn't mind the wait that much, but neither of you are me or willy's girlfriends so fuck that. Can't say the same for Kelly the slave turned nurse though.

Bitches finally done with their nails. You thought that was the end of the wait? BAM shopping spree begins.

And if that was bad enough, my new super flamboyant and stylish nike blood red bag was used to put Cynthia's filthy daiso shopping loot. Disgusting woman.

Our little kid Willy kept running away, but like a good and dependable dog, he always returns.

Had dinner at a meh jap restaurant in city square. Jenny's shag face was the result of a combination of how much we shopped and how much she's aged. 


The following day was a make up holiday but poor Wilson didn't know that. So we pranked him into thinking that he had work the next day. Here he is looking suspicious af, trying to tap onto the free wifi at the nail parlor asking other colleagues if he has to work. 

Our tired and cheeky grins on the way home. I hated every moment of this trip and i never want to go anywhere with you fucks again. Just kidding, i still have to see all of you at work tomorrow.

Jan 2017 Part 2

Went jb again the following week because i absolutely adore the long queues at Malaysia customs. This time the bus lines were horrendous and it was impossible for us to even find the start of the bus queue. We decided to walk in through the highway and i feared for my life every single second. It seemed we were either going to die as a roadkill, or by heatstroke.

Having the nice bubble tea again with Jenny's friend still working there every weekend. Sad life.

Ya Wang AGAIN but this time we didn't hold back. 1 and a half ducks for 5 young growing boys.

Oh yea.. i love it when you spread your drumsticks like that... wider...

So good. But abit too much we were having duck overdose towards the end of the meal

When you're single for too many years, you borrow friends to take couple photos ; ;

Got absolutely baited to try this burger place in city square.

 Can add your own toppings and it's cheap, what could go wrong?

Apparently everything can. The beef had a really strong smell and the fries were soggy. My burger was only edible because of the sheer amount of toppings i added in to confuse my taste buds.

Ugh i don't even want to look at you, you are a sorry excuse for a burger. You should be ashamed of yourself. We also got a side of buffalo wings which were as tasty as a bunch of used condoms in your mouth.

Speaking of condoms.... no words needed as i end off this post with Reagan's cheeky, perverse smile.