Hello everybody i’m blogging this from somewhere above India on our flight to Italy (which i’m excited for you to read all about in 2050) thanks to the complimentary in flight wifi. But for now, let’s continue with our Turkish adventure.
We left the hotel bright and early in the morning with Reagan giving me a look that somehow translates to ‘你很不group leh’.
But before we move on, here's a peek into our conjoined hotel rooms where i was able to hear my neighbours performing their synchronised clapping exercises all night long.
Today we explore the historic streets of Istanbul, or Constantinople as it was known back then during the glory days of the Byzantine empire.
Dunno why but got a bit of Malaysian vibes of buying Hiap Joo banana cake and eating 鸭王 behind JB sentral.
Let’s break fast with breakfast! We happened to be there during the fasting period for Muslims so we were able to get a table without prior reservations.
This restoran is popular for having a terrace with a panoramic view of the old district.
Although this table with the best view is reserved for patrons to take photos and igstories..
The staff was kind enough to help us take photos of the couple with their light bulb, Jia Ling.
Back to our table where a king’s spread was being laid out. This is the traditional full Turkish breakfast where the goal is to flex on those starving kids in Africa.
It looks decadent and ridiculously over the top, but if you look closely got half of the dishes is trash (yes i’m talking about you, cucumber and olives).
But there are gems within the jams (pardon the pun). This lump of baby poop looking thing is called tahini, a rich, sweet paste made out of sesame seeds and molasses. It’s fragrantly nutty and goes perfectly with every kind of bread.
Another winner is the honey and cheese combo which complements each other perfectly. We devoured almost all of the bread that were offered to us and left with happy tummies.
There are many sights to see in the Sultanahmet area. Like this magnificent ancient obelisk, 32 metres in height and probably erected in the 10th century.
Or this ancient Egyptian obelisk dating back to 1400 BC, brought over to Istanbul by Theodosius the Great in 4th century AD.
None of which captured our attention as much as this good boy. There is a curiously large number of stray dogs roaming around in Turkiye for a Muslim country.
The tourists were out in droves as we made our way to the Hagia Sophia grand mosque.
The huge sprawling fountain and surrounding bastions of the mosque resembles Disneyland for some reason.
The Hagia Sophia was originally constructed as a church by the Eastern Roman empire back in 537 AD.
It was then converted into a mosque after the fall of Constantinople to the Ottoman Empire. Credit: Wikipedia
Come to think of it, this was my first ever visit to a mosque so it was quite interesting to see the architecture and decorum from the inside.
A couple of suspicious looking Chinese folks standing out like a sore thumb.
Not sure who enforced the no smiling policy but we were just trying to be respectful tourists because there is obviously nothing funny at all,ah.
The gardens outside were also in full bloom with flowers of all colours.
But none were as striking as this king relaxing on the grass as if he was at home binge watching Singles Inferno.
We then headed to the Blue Mosque, another iconic monument of Istanbul which i took no photos of and had to shamelessly steal a picture from Google images.
Unfortunately, the mosque happened to be under heavy construction at the time of our visit.
It was hardly impressive with the scaffolding and repair works so we speedran it and left before any cranes fell on us.
After thoroughly cleansing our souls with the 2 mosque visits, we had to complete the process by cleaning our bodies too.
And so begs the question, why shower yourself when you can pay someone else to do it for you?
Introducing the Turkish Hammam experience, where the idea is to strip down to your undies and someone scrubs you clean from head to toe.
After watching some Youtube videos of hairy Turkish men spanking patrons and spinning them around like a beyblade on the marbled platform, we decided to find a hamam with female staff instead (not say lupsap lupsap).
*Professional artist impression*
The experience of being showered by a female stranger in a towel was exactly as you would expect. Not knowing what to do with your hands and sitting awkwardly still like a 5 year old child being showered by mom.
And no, they don’t wash your private parts so you’ll be 95% spanking clean but stuck with a filthy kukubird.
Have to give credit to the shower ladies though, they were utterly professional and did not eyeball our massive cocks from start to finish. Well, even if they did I would not have noticed because my eyes were being doused with soap and water throughout.
Ultimately it was very unique but highly improbable that you will find it a relaxing experience if it is your first rodeo. We ended by chilling beside the heated pools with some hot black tea but passed on swimming since we were already washed clean.
肚子饿了 but sadly we could not find a place where we could also spend money for someone to feed us so we had to eat with our own hands. Tsk 委屈我们了.
Their cheerful smiles disappeared when i revealed to Jl that Reagan was fully erect throughout the entire bath duration.
Some free pita bread was served along with a tomato salsa thingy, nice service.
Garlicky prawns in sizzling olive oil. Even someone with an extra chromosome could tell that this tasted magnificent.
Okay guys we all know what it looks like. Let’s all be mature here and move on without mentioning any faeces related jokes.
A Turkish version of Tokyo western. The meat platters were nothing amazing but it did a decent job of filling our tummies.
Decided to call it a day and make our way back to the hotel since we have an early flight the next day.
Passed by a gelato shop but did not go for it since it was not your traditional Turkish ice cream where you get bamboozled by the guy.
The Starbucks prices were also waaaay lower than SG’s.
No turning down a $3 SGD grande sized caramel macchiato.
The aroma from the kebab shop next to our hotel successfully seduced me into giving it a chance.
Today we have ourselves a chicken sharwama for supper. Nice but could do with more sauces or hummus.
Remember when i said there were a lot of dogs in Turkiye? You can add an OT dog to the list ;; But guess who doesn’t have to shower again after returning to the hotel? Just have to try and concentrate on completing my work over those familiar clapping sounds transmitting over again from next door..
- End of Day 2 -
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