Good day to you from Taichung (actually Tampines). I just watched liverpool lose their 6th home game in a row and my dota 12v12 mmr is now 1.2k so please pardon the angst-filled post ahead.
Think of breakfast in Taichung and 第二市场 is the place to go, even if I've already been there a million times.
It's time to introduce my family to the wondrous and amazing world of 古早味.
Glutinous rice falsely advertised as sausages (POFMA you), drizzled with 2 kinds of sweet sauce as if it's a dessert and just to add insult to injury, topped with a poorly fried sunny side up. Pls buck up bro, it looks like u fried that egg with a screwdriver.
The exact same thing but with radish cake. Quite sure my dad was ready to physically abuse me for ordering these 2 dishes.
Luckily for me, he saw his one kryptonite before unbuckling his belt.
A bowl of mee pok dry to keep the belt on his waist and save me from a whipping. 阿弥陀佛，多谢鱼圆面保佑.
Washed down with a very comforting bowl of pig's blood soup. Come on SFA, if you can allow Jl to dip her hashbrown into maple syrup surely you can let us eat a bit of blood?
I may have to send my family for therapy. The number of wu eh bo eh items they bought from the market was seriously impressive.
Done with boosting the economy of Taiwan by 5000%, we got back on track by driving towards the beautiful mountain range.
After a smooth climb with our trusty rental car, we are back at the 2nd most boring tourist spot ever, narrowly edged out of the top spot by Sun Moon Lake. Let's begin with the Swiss Garden.
We were put off by the $6 entrance fee so only my parents went in. Fucking hell, why would i pay the price of 3 卤肉饭s to see plants when my house outside already have?
Instead, i happily spent my $6 entrance fee eating this chubby boy's 肉棒.
They did at least have a very nice rest area right outside the garden, with a 7-11 cleverly built beside to cater to us non plant lovers.
A scene right out of a fairytale for some, the stuff of nightmares for me. I can't believe i'm back here smelling and trudging through all that sheep shit.
The cool weather is welcome but NOTHING else here warrants a second visit.
At least 皇太后 seems to be enjoying herself.
An accurate depiction of how mum fed me and my 2 brothers to our sizes now.
So very tempting to get on all fours and eat off the petite hands of all the twmms but sadly my dad and his belt were there to keep me in check.
Taking pictures with whatever structure we find, gives me PTSD of a certain Vietnamese.
It's no Fuji or Yotei san, but the view of the mountainscape would be breathtaking on a clearer day.
My mum rushed to watch the monotonous Mongolian horse performance featuring lots of HEY! We decided to move on with our lives just 5 mins later. Nothing much else to say about this place. If you are sick in the head and want to read more about Qingjing Farm, you may refer to the 2017 post below:
Good thing i didn't play Jay Chou's track or there would have been another Tanjong Pagar incident here.
On the road back to Taichung, we passed through the town of Puli, the geographical center of Taiwan. May as well stop for a toilet break and take some photos while we are here.
With my advanced knowledge of the human anatomy, i believe the middle of the body is more akin to a bellybutton than the heart. Thus, i hereby rename this town as 台湾之肚脐.
Speaking of bellies, ours were rumbling so we ended up having dinner in this bellybutton town.
Parents nervously watching my brother park the car without knowing that i bought a shit load of insurance hoping that an accident happens.
I don't know what you think about blackened, decomposed eggs that even our starving cavemen ancestors 5,000 years ago wouldn't touch, but i love my century eggs. The pitan here steps up another level with their lava yolks, which may or may not horrify you even more. But why oh why did they spam a mountain of basil on top which corrupted the beautiful taste of my horse pee marinated eggs?
The braised pork leg was pretty good. Fall apart tender like my heart when she left my life.
Couldn't remember anything about the spare ribs though, just like how i can't recall how it feels like to be loved.
I'm sensing a pattern where all of our meals will include a random carb dish that will always turn out to be a burden.
Because the century eggs were so good, we ordered another plate of eggs. Mmm no smelly grass to ruin my urine flavoured eggs this time.
Back in Taichung and you already know what we're gonna do to wind down the day. Pro tip: Don't drive to any night markets. Parking is hell and you'll usually end up walking several kilometres to your destination.
Since we dropped off our guan yin praying family members back at the airbnb, i encouraged my brother to chase his dreams of having a bowl of beef noodles as our last supper.
Lol is it we kenna century egg gong tao? Suddenly ordered it 3 times in the span of a few hours. Hopefully there are no side effects that come with eating too many preserved eggs, but i noticed that my semen has been black in colour ever since the trip hmm.
Braised beef tendons were not melt in your mouth standards, but still good.
I don't remember shit so i'll just assume this was the best beef noodles he ever had since i googled and found this place.
You've seen me gobble down a thousand bowls of 鲁肉饭, here's my first time eating 鲁肉面. Tldr rice works much better, don't fix what isn't broken.
One last walk around Feng Jia to ensure there will be no food regrets but truth be told, nothing even remotely interests me anymore after 4 night markets in 4 days. Yes that includes you, 培根芝士蛋饼先生.
Ok maybe one last papaya milk for the road, blended by the great Albert Einstein himself. Say goodbye to the 22 degrees weather as we will be heading back south to one of the cities we've yet to visit. Check out our Tainan adventures on the next post which will definitely come out on April 1st.
- End of Day 4 -
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