Korea 2019 - Day 5: Gwangjang Market 광장시장, Ewha Woman’s University Shopping Street 이화여자대학교, Starfield Coex Mall 스타필드 코엑스몰 & Jonggak 종각

I am devastated. Our Bangkok trip has been cancelled and my craving for pad thai is slowly taking over me. Yesterday, i bought char kway teow and wrapped it in a fried egg blanket but it lacked the beautiful orange tint. Today, i had kway teow goreng pattaya for dinner but it just wasn't the same. Someone please manufacture the vaccine for covid-19 before i start having ideas about cooking maggie mee in orange juice.


Enough talk about Thailand for now, because this post is all about Korea. The wet weather derailed our plans to visit Lotteworld so we had to improvise. We would finally be meeting up with our Korean chinggu Hyeri whom Jl introduced to us a few years prior.


But before that, let's have ourselves an exciting Korean breakfast at Gwangjang Market, whenever Jh is done with beoing that ahjumma.


With over 100 years of history, it doesn't get more traditional than this. And let's take a moment to appreciate my perfect symmetrical photography technique. Hi FHM magazine, when are you hiring me? 

After a quick scan through the stalls, there was a consistent standout food item in this market. These stacks of oil soaked mungbean pancakes that will leave any doctor horrified.


We entered into one of the many restorans for the pancakes and noticed the glorious words "sliced", "raw", "octopus" on the menu. Finally, we found one of our food bucket list items to try in Korea.


A pre-meal bowl of makgeoli to boost our courage before we come face to face with our squiggly friends. Yep rice wine for breakfast aren't we a healthy bunch.


Doesn't look too intimidating when it's motionless, but let's hit that play button.

Looks like this came right out of a hentai flick with all those wriggling tentacles. But besides the weird sensation of something molesting your tongue, the octopus was relatively tasteless. Kinda resembles a very chewy gummy bear flavoured with sesame oil and slight fishiness.


The bindae-tteoks were hit and miss as we ordered some filled with vegetables and others with meat. The former had tau geh in them and i almost report police but thankfully the meat version was better. However, it is as oily as my face after a bbq so it will be difficult to eat more than a slice.


These cigar looking rice rolls are another must try in this market. Dubbed as drug gimbap because it is supposedly dangerously addictive. Sorry Koreans, as long as there is no raw salmon inside this has no power over me. 

Children, if you are watching please do not be like these uncles and aunty no 家教 play with food. That poor octopus died for this...

After the strongest tentacle had been crowned, we headed to Ewha Woman's University to ehwa ehwa ehwa find our Hyeri-ssi.

Do you ship this couple? I'll gladly ship her all the way to North Korea if she tells me she is reading book at a cafe one more time.


According to my experience from dating apps, many girls enjoy taking pictures with the unique architecture here but tbh we are just here to beo the meimeis.

We did find a tiny park covered in a 1cm layer of snow where we tried having a half fuck snowball fight. Nobody dared to commit fully because the snow was always mixed in with a little bit of soil and dirt.


The university itself was pretty underwhelming so we strolled around the nearby shopping street instead. Saw one of the Line stores with Brown, the famous huge bear mascot and Jl wasted no time relegating her bf to cameraman.

Ok lah very long never take couple photo, it's time to remind your instagram followers that you haven't 分手.

One thing's for sure though, this is a female shopping paradise. If i am ever launching my open air concept bra shop, this would be the perfect location.


Lunch time and we chose to have it at Mister Bossam because their banner said "大丈夫菜包肉" which we clearly are. For you uncultured swines (which included myself), bossam is sliced pork belly served with lettuce and a variety of side dishes.


Our pork came in 4 flavours: original, smoked, plum and spicy, all of which were fantastic. Adding a dash of ssamjang and wrapping it in lettuce makes a yummy low carb taco.


Special shoutout to the free naengmyeon which was probably the worst dish we had in Korea and didn't deserve a picture by itself. 为什么 cold, 为什么 sweet, 为什么 spicy, 为什么 got fruit? But overall a very fun lunch where we learned about each other's culture a.k.a vulgarities.

OPPA GANGNAM STYLE. We bade a temporary farewell to Hyeri, who probably went to a cafe to read a book and proceeded to the Gangnam district. Gangnam is the affluent area of S.Korea where the wealthy live and luxury shops are aplenty, which makes you wonder why are we poor fucks here?

Well... because Tripadvisor say must go to Starfield Coex mall see their library so we 听话.


Wew what is this 3 storey bookshelf and what is the point because according to my professional observation this shit doesn't seem practical at all. Do i need to summon superman to get my self improvement book at the top shelf because last i checked librarians can't fly.

Their library may be impressive, but it's nothing compared to our Ck. We also took some time to explore the rest of the mall and it was so sickening huge that i fell ill and had to go back to the apartment to nap it out.

Meanwhile, the rest of them made me proud by continuing our quest to conquer every single korean fried chicken chain at Han Chu Chicken.

Sadly, it was a forgettable experience and the chicken looks as dry as my sex life.

 When Mark Wiens ate their green pepper tempura his head twist 90 degrees but they found it so so only. Is it he just like to eat spicy food?

Good dodge as i woke up feeling much better and headed down to Jonggak to meet the rest for our part 2 date with Hyeri.


With every step deeper into this drinking alley, it reminded me of a red light district... not that i would know how it looks like hahas... 难道 our Korean friend is setting me up to be raped?


Okay 小 disappointed that it didn't happen, but we had the next best thing: an authentic Korean drinking session with beer + soju.

You can just sense how much she wants to roll her eyeballs at us. Duk duk duk also easily impressed, such Singaporean simpletons.

KPOP SONG OF THE DAY:
We wah somemore she really going to hit us with that du du du.

We had some yakitori to go with our drinks because alcohol is always better with food. All the skewers were delish apart from the 白果 one. Simi the fuck i thought ginkgo nut is put inside orh nee one why now become satay?

Jjan!! Started the day with makgeoli and ended the day with maekju. So this is what a day in Sj's life feels like.

Many hilarious conversations and toilet trips later, we bade farewell to Hyeri for what we thought was for the next few years. Really grateful to her for taking time off work to meet us and showing us around, so much so that i almost invited her back to our apartment for coffee.


But at that moment, all i wanted was a burger instead of sex because i had yet to eat dinner. Thankfully the ever trustworthy Lotteria was nearby. This was the godlike double beef cheese burger that Jh and i 念念不忘 but i forgot what it is called, fuck.

Also discovered a bowl of crab poop in a convenience store and somehow my brain said "lol why not?" so here it is. Actually not bad if you like crabby stuff but like that eat without rice sibei jelat.

Since this is a relatively short post, here's something to kill a minute during your circuit breaker / MCO. Presenting the messiest apartment in Korea, with laundry and underwear strewn all over the place. Wouldn't you just love to live in a rowdy, chaotic household like this? You can by marrying me ;) Enjoy your CB boys and girls.

- End of Day 5 -

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