I hate writing intros. It's mostly bullshit and irrelevant to the post. And it's not like anyone reads this anyway. You lot just scroll through this and go towards the pictures, neglecting the filler content this paragraph provides. Little did you realise that without this introduction, the post would be lacking and unfinished, much like a bowl of soup without CP Fresh Shrimp Wontons™. Crunchy prawns wrapped in silky smooth skin, it's the perfect companion to any soup dish. Get yours now at the nearest supermarket for only $5.90!
Winter problems #1: It takes 6 years to leave our apartment with everyone having to wear their boots, jackets, neck warmers, hats/ear muffs, gloves, condoms etc.
Moments earlier in the apartment.. Yc punishing Chiaderella for being single by mopping floors with his butt. Hais attached already yaya lor can bully us single losers. 我们死啦，我们死啦
Winter problems #1: It takes 6 years to leave our apartment with everyone having to wear their boots, jackets, neck warmers, hats/ear muffs, gloves, condoms etc.
Moments earlier in the apartment.. Yc punishing Chiaderella for being single by mopping floors with his butt. Hais attached already yaya lor can bully us single losers. 我们死啦，我们死啦
Good thing there's something to kill time while we wait. SNOWWWW!! First time trying to build a snowman and it turned into a snow teddy bear instead. Pls give chance to a snow virgin whose only previous experience was chipping away at a bowl of ice kacang.
LOOK AT HOW POWDERY THAT ICE IS RLY CAN BRING SYRUP EAT BINGSU NEXT TIME STEADY JK SIBEI LUPSUP U OWNSELF EAT
Stamping off snow from our boots like how girls stamp us out of their lives ; ;
Winter problems #2: Every step you take could potentially kill you. Kl proudly showing off his new ice cleats that allows him to walk like a normal person again.
Back at Odori station during the day to grab breakfast at the seafood market. 很多snow, 风景很 pretty, which you can admire when these 2 newly attached fucks ever decide to move out of the way.
Fatty pigeons but hey as long as they don't poop on us, we cool.
Greeted by the massive Sapporo TV tower, the second largest landmark in the city. In case you're wondering what's no.1, hint: it's underneath my pants.
Squinting because we can't see your tiny kukubird
We took a moment to marvel at all things enveloped in white powder. Wah tree got snow. Waah ground got snow. Waaah hair got snow oh wait that's just dandruff.
As you can probably tell, we are easily distracted like a bunch of kids. Basically 7 year olds stuck in 27 years old body (28 for Jl).
All hail vending machines that dispense hot beverages, the most effective way of warming up the hands and tummy.
Even a longkang can look so chio in Hokkaido. Meanwhile, people are dumping their luo han fish into the big drain in front of my house..
After a few minutes of trudging in the snow, we saw something that made us very excited.
Oi not those children lah. You think we pedo like Reagan? Camera turn left abit.
Say hello to Nijo market, one of the best places to experience Hokkaido's most famed specialty, seafood.
So many crabs paraded on the storefronts that i felt like the president of crabs during their NDP.
Already did my homework on Kondo Noburo Shoten, of course. I'm always prepared. 怎么说我都是个 food blogger 嘛.
Surprising that we easily got seats for 7 during lunch hour. Maybe the online ratings bluff people one..
Haha which idiot will spend $50 on breakfast?
Hi, i am that idiot. But this bowl piled with all sorts of seafood (half of which i do not recognise) was worth every single yen. I'm sorry for doubting this place and myself, more of myself though. 对不起小帅.
If you are feeling less adventurous (or "humji" in singlish terms), you can opt for something safe like this gorgeous salmon, scallop and crab rice bowl. Not the fattest cut, but the freshness made it taste so different from any other salmon we have had before.
The best deal here is the Don Gozen set comprising of 4 mini bowls of rice topped with different seafood and crab miso soup for around SGD $30. So you see, there's something for everyone. Unless you are a faggot that doesn't eat raw fish, then may lord have mercy on your poor, sashimi-deprived soul.
We tried some honey melons but they were nothing close to the orgasmic inducing ones at Kuromon market so let's just pretend this never happened.
Ice cream made from 100% Hokkaido milk. More fragrant than your usual vanilla ice cream, but nowhere near as good as our dearest baobei sayang cremia.
Random stranger snuck into our ice cream selfie. Don't say never share photoshop give you one also.
Wandered into an alley that houses more shops, as well as a toilet. Any place with a toilet is a godsend, which brings us to Winter problems #3: the cold makes you pee like free one. And to add on, Winter problems #4: Some of your pee evaporates into vapour and floats towards you, which is equivalent to febreezing urine on yourself. You have no idea how tough it is to matrix dodge that toxic mist in front of the urinal with your penis hanging out.
We struck gold when we found this tiny store selling fresh seafood at a dollar cheaper each than the shops located outside, which was a huge win for us kiasu Singaporeans.
Wew fresh scallops grilled over charcoal. What is this feeling in my pants? Yes, the dragon has risen.
That butter miso sauce and thick chunks of sweet scallop meat are a match made in heaven. Perfect like you, black hershel bag girl that i beo die on the bus every morning ❤.
Sorry sidetracked by snow again. For the onlookers disgusted by our snowball throwing skills, pardon us for being noob this was our 1st experience. 丢 snowball become 丢脸.
Opposite Nijo market is one end of the 1km long Tanukikoji shopping street. Very reminiscent of Shinsaibashi street in Osaka.
There should be an addiction hotline and rehab center to help people like us from claw machines. Pls send us help, all of our money is sucked dry from trying to win soft toys we don't need.
A thrilling arcade game that allows you to live your dream job as a mrt train driver. *Doors are closing ti ti ti ti ti*
Inside a pet shop, heartbreaking scenes as lots of poor kitties and puppies are locked up in tiny containers waiting to be bought. Always remember guys, adopt not buy.
I know i would definitely adopt these bears with boobies. My boner is so confused right now.
And then we saw her. That familiar, elegant beauty that captured our attention. We rushed towards her, heart beating intensely in anticipation. All we could manage was an awkward smile and mutter "sumimasen 5 cremia hamnida saeyo" to the ice cream lady.
不是很想 take picture with the big cremia replica but we didn't have the heart to reject the obasan's kind gesture.
She must have regretted it... "wtf are these bakas doing with my fake ice cream?"
Just as we were done with shopping, it started snowing! We ran out and took mother nature's bukkake on our faces, revelling in the snowfall.
Ck presents: A carpark, dirty roads and some lorries in the snow.
We had the perfect place in mind to enjoy the snow. Odori park cloaked in powder is one of the prettiest things i have ever seen.
I chua sai-ed too when this thumbnail came up. No offense to you, NZ farmer.
We shamelessly take full credit for this pro snowman someone else built.
Watch how accurately those snowballs find their target now. This kind of useless things we learn sibei fast.
When even your ice cleats can't prevent you from falling down, you know you've truly angered the gods.
Hen kai xin hen hao wan but hen cold BB need something to eat and keep warm.
Deng deng deng time for a late lunch at Hotei, a Jap x Chinese fusion eatery located along Odori Park.
Chio bus and their smooth draft biru vs cb zai nans and their white open water. We had a private room to ourselves so we could kpkb to our hearts' content.
The main draw for coming was to try their Zangi, which is Hokkaido's take on kaarage. Thick, crispy battered skin + juicy well marinated meat = obscene mating noises echoing around the room. These chickens died for a good cause.
Another signature is the mapo noodles. Yep, it's literally mapo tofu with noodles and it works so well. Sloppy and slippery like an aroused vagina, a hot and hearty dish like this is perfect during winter.
Jh was raving non stop about their xlbs. 原来你喜欢小粒的... We highly recommend this place if you are visiting Sapporo. All of the dishes we ordered tasted great and the 酒鬼s agreed they serve up some of the best draft beer around.
Next up on the agenda, trying out a sport that we had only seen in Korean variety shows before. We had no idea how tough of a game this was, but the prospect of watching each other fail sounded fun.
We made our way to the Curling Stadium only to find out that the place had been fully booked *cries in gai jin language* Apparently the sport was trending due to the ongoing winter olympics. Seeing our disappointed but good looking faces, the friendly receptionist invited us upstairs to observe the games currently in session.
Ownself cannot play but 废话多多a lot comments
On second thought, this game wasn't as newbie friendly as we thought. We saw some beginners slipping on the ice, unable to even throw the curling stone forward. So if you are planning to try this out, be sure to make a reservation and hire a coach to prevent maximum xia suay.
Since we couldn't play, we found another sport we could enjoy, shopping!
The Sapporo station area is home to a plethora of shopping malls like Paseo, Stellar Place, Daimaru and ESTA. But guess what ALL OF THEM ARE CLOSED BY 9 PM. At least we got in about half an hour of browsing.
We made sure the trip here wasn't a futile one. A popular restaurant called Tokachi Butadon Ippin resides in Stellar Place, specialising in delicious bowls of butadon (grilled pork over rice). Kl boosted his chances of falling down again by imitating the metta kid.
Why is it so good you ask? Well my child, it's because they use motherfucking charcoal to cook their babi, and you know you can't go wrong cooking shit with motherfucking charcoals.
Is it my pork grow 白头发 like Jh? Wait ah i remove the pointless strands of grated radish so you can have a better view of the sexy meat.
Oops i forgot that we were in Japan, and food porn isn't spared from censorship. For the full uncensored version, please kindly visit https://www.instagram.com/eatify_sg/ #shameless-self-promo
That was a great meal btw, i'm just too lazy to describe food on this blog after starting eatify. Since all the stores were closed, the only logical option was to buy some snacks and head home to rest. The abundant choices in their 7 Eleven very 感人.
Reagan considering whether to get 0.01 okamoto to keep us awake the whole night. 不要~~~ lucky our room further away cannot hear. Good luck Ck, Yc, Kl!!
Kl: "Come on give me some clap", *claps by himself*
Only day 2 and we were already too tired to entertain him. The next 10 days are going to be hell... On a side note, it was only 11pm when we were walking back to our apartment and it felt like we were the only living things around.
I was thinking what the fuck is Jh doing sitting on the bed butt naked, then i realised the blanket was blocking his shorts. 讨厌 you got me excited for a second there, just like the disappointment of a bowl of instant noodles without CP Fresh Shrimp Wontons™. Made with all natural whole shrimp and 0 grams trans fat, it's my preferred healthier choice. Use my promo code 'selloutjs' to get a free receipt with every purchase!
- End of Day 2-
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